Different experience levels

[LeahBee]

My boyfriend and I are both 21 years old, but our experience levels are very different. I'm still a virgin and he's been with 9 women. I'm not sure if I really wanted to hear the number (even though I brought it up), but I did and there's no taking it back. Ever since I found out, it really has bothered me and I can't get that thought out of my head. It's eating away at me and I don't know if I can get over it.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? Am I just over-reacting?

[ORANGE]

it take times

you go through regret anger but you might learn to live with it if you were meant for each other the past is the past what is now is now. if he did not treat you badly then it is his past/ but it takes time.

[kiwigirl]

I know where you are coming from as I was in the same boat (so to speak) over a year ago. It was kind of nice knowing how many women the guy I was going to sleep with had been with but also I felt that I may be a bit of disappointment to him when we did finally sleep together (as I had only been with one other person before him and he was well aware of this fact even before I asked him who many people he had been with). But I also asked him about his sexual health as well, as we had talked about having sex without a condom on as I would be on the pill when we got together. Ask him about his sexual health as it is not only important to you, but him as well. As it turned out for me I felt like a knotch on his bedpost as things didn't go well but that is another story....

[champloo]

that may or may not be a good thing, its decided by you alone...

but if you really like the guy, then it doesnt matter does it?

[WallyLlama]

When you make his previous relationships that important you diminish the one you have with him.

The harsh reality is that if you can't get over it, your relationship with him is not very strong and you hate his previous relationships more than you love him and his relationship with you.

If you change the way you think about it, you will change the way you feel about it.

Not easy, but simple.

[dancingdoc2]

Wally, you've gone and done it, again. This is pretty sage advise.

Leah, I regularly tell people who have concerns about having different levels of experience that it really does not matter because any time two people get together it forms a new pairing and partnership and with each one there will be differences in attitudes, likes, dislikes, wants, desires, and, differences on how to make out that must be explored, learned, and perfected. Sure, we all make out in much the same ways, and, we all basically stroke a penis and finger a clitoris in the same ways, however, there is a fine art to all this that is unique and specific to each one of us and this must be taught. So, teach each other and learn together.

Please take Wally's advise. As Orange states, the past is the past and he is with you because he wants to be. This is all that you have to be concerned about.

[closet_monster]

I had that question thrown at me from a girl and well she so weirded out by the fact i was more experienced than her. I never said that, but the way she is talkin, I barely am.......I'm makin this sound like it's about me and I'm sorry. If you are just worried about being another knotch in the belt. Ask your self does he love me? Do we care about each other? Is this real to me? And what do I want? It will work out. Good luck

[sexy_angel]

I was kind of in a similar situation. I had lost my virginity with an ex of mine who was also a virgin and it sucked! It was terrible the first time we tried it took ages to 'get it in' and the second time he was so excited that he was in me for maybe 10seconds coz we werent using a condom and he was scared he would come.... those were the only 2 occasions i experienced with coz then we broke up (for other reasons). I never really consider those 2 times as sexual encounters because they were both terrible. After that I got together with my current boyfriend who had been with other women before me (and they were all the kind of relationships that were basically just for the sex....so he had had quite alot!). I felt abit 'strange' when he told me this and thought he would expect me to be as good as them and do what they did, etc. However, it didnt bother me much later. The first time i did it with him was amazing (nothing compared to the previous encounter with the ex) so i just looked at the situation like this: had he not been with those other girls before it would probably have gone as bad as my other encounter. like this he knew wat he was doing and knew how to please me and he also went easy on me and took into consideration my 'lack of experience' and made sure i was ok and enjoying it every step of the way.

anyway to cut things short i guess my point is this. if it bothers u try to look at it from a different angle. He will know what he has to do so u dont have to be scared about screwing up or doing sthing wrong. just leave it in his hands and if u really care about him u should enjoy it and forget about his past. its no use fretting about it....he's broken up with them anyway and there must have been a reason for that....now he's with u so just relax and enjoy d ride.

[wifey]

Originally Posted by LeahBee

My boyfriend and I are both 21 years old, but our experience levels are very different. I'm still a virgin and he's been with 9 women. I'm not sure if I really wanted to hear the number (even though I brought it up), but I did and there's no taking it back. Ever since I found out, it really has bothered me and I can't get that thought out of my head. It's eating away at me and I don't know if I can get over it.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? Am I just over-reacting?

i wouldn't worry about it too much if i were you...i mean i can see where you are coming from etc...9 women does not necessarily mean more experience, it could also mean 9 one night stands, which in effect is 9 times...
don't worry about it!