Hmm.Need some advice.

[Frailty]

Alright so here I am. Im 18 and Im single again for who knows how long. I want some answers really on why I am the way I am and maybe some tips and solutions that could help me get through this. I'll try my best to explain it.

Im extremely shy unless Im around people I know(friends in this case) I get very talkative and girls that are good friends see me as a jerk sometimes but its just the way I am, I like to be funny and crack jokes. Im afraid of being alone and really insecure about my self in many ways. This is why Im a virgin at 18 still, now ive had my chances when I was younger 15-16.

Im really confused on the whole girl situation. My last gf told me shed rather have sex with a virgin, her being one her self aswell to share the expirience, then she does the totaly opposite of what she said she would never do. Find another guy which isnt a virgin, he cheats on her and she still stays with him, when again she said she would never tolerate that. Really confusing to me.

On top of all that I really want a solution to my shyness. I want to talk to girls but whenever I have a oppourtunity to I never take it and pussy out. I dont know how to break the ice with a girl and how to keep a conversation going. I look at girls and wish I could only be with them but then I know I would never hav a chance with them.

Its a majority of things, I think of it but when I want to put it on paper or type it I cant realy explain how I am feeling. Truthfully it seems like its hopeless and I was ment to be alone.I live a good life other than my crappy relationships I have and truthfully if I could live and have a choice to die I would take death because I dont think I am truely capable of taking in what the life has in store for me. Really? call me crazy but look at it this way. What is life truely. You go to school for the majority of your young life, they teach you to make something of your self and some decide to take that path and some decide to royaly screw it up. You get a job, wake up every morning for that job and its just a never ending processes that flip flops for 70-80 years. People hurt you and stuff and thats suppose to be life.

Now dont think Im a suicidal maniac because Im not. I just cant really talk to anyone about this because I know they wont have any answers for me. I dont think Im good looking but people say I am, I have nice things, middle-class, drive a nice car. What is the problem with me ? Why am I single and cant find anyone ?

[Brandye]

You do not need sex information; you need some some relationship counselling. I just posted to another thread in this forum saying the same thing. Check your school counsellingcenter, community mental health, doctor, psychologist, friends who have had help. We cannot do much here but face-to-face with a helper will do you some good.

[Iris]

>Im 18 and Im single again for who knows how long.<
Did you just get out of a relatinship? If so, how long was it? I'm guessing it ended poorly, and that's why you feel so down about the whole relationship thing. If that's so, take a break, go out with friends, try to (Though it's bloody hard) to stop thinking about girlfriends and relationships, at least for a while. I took a 3 year break from the "relationship game" in highschool and college and just tried to make friends. Now one of those friends is my current boyfriend and we're very happy that we started out as friends, it makes us much closer. That doesn's seem ideal, and it's not I suppose, but it worked for me, and I can only give advice from my own experiance.

So many of my guy friends tell me "that girl is out of my league..." or "I could never get with that, look at her, she's beautiful" and I look at them and think, "No way, you're awesome, if you would only go up to her and strike up a conversation she would obviously find you cool." But even if I say it, they don't listen to me. The obvious excuse being "Naw, she's probably taken..." And that is an excuse that absolutly infuriates me. How do you know she is taken? Just because she's 'cute' or 'hott' or whatever doesnt automatically mean that she's in a relationship with someone else. For another thing, what do you have to loose by going up and talking to her? I personally love it when a guy has the nerve to come up and strike up a conversation, mainly because I'm too shy to go up to guys and talk to them. I'll smile at them, and even make eye contact, but the actual walking has to be done by the guy, and I know that's how some (but by no means all) of my girls work as well. For an actual solution to shyness, well, I don't have one, I am shy, and will always remain as such, it's hard for me to go out and actually socialize (especially in large social gatherings, I have less of a problem with small ones). I work very very hard at that problem, and can overcome it as long as I'm not thinking "I want a romantic relationship" with said person, as long as I don't think with the words "romance" or "relationship" (which for me are always loaded) I can introduce myself and strike up a conversation with less of an issue. (This is my 'lets be friends' take on starting up a convo with someone I've never met).
As for icebreakers that really snap my attention, they usually involve comments on the music that's on, or what I am wearing (compliments on jewelry and such, or clothing.... "I really like such-and-so, where/when did you get it?" or they are something utterly amusing like "I despise Ugg-Boots" (which are a current trend with my peers *shudder*). If you can't think of things to say to a stranger, try practicing on your female friends, chances are they will love the attention and be happy to help.

Oh and if ANY girl is ever nasty in a social setting, chances are they aren't the type of person you want to be with anyway.

Good Luck! And Best Wishes (Truly, I know it's an overused phrase, but it is meant)
Iris