Friendship to Boyfriend

[Julie8605]

Hey. I'm new to the forum and site.

I'm in college right now and am faced with a tough, yet ordinary challenge. I have been making a lot of guy friends lately. I don't live on campus, but my two close friends do. I've been spending a lot of time in their dorm... all boys. Thus spending a lot of time with the opposite sex. This, in and of itself, is new for me. Most of my friends are girls back home.

So there's this guy. We cuddle during movies. He massages my feet and rubs my neck. He tickles my hands and under my knees. He holds my waist and lays on my stomach. It's all fairly innocent for him. But I've never had a boyfriend... I'm nineteen and I'm clueless!!

I want to turn him on. I want to make him feel the same things that I am feeling when he touches me. But I'm not sure how or what would even be considered 'appropriate'. I've known him a few months now and I can see us moving on to a relationship, but I want him to know that it would be worth his while physically as well as intellectually and emotionally.

Any advice would be helpful!! Thanks!

~Julie

[dancingdoc2]

> I'm in college right now and am faced with a tough, yet ordinary challenge...I've never had a boyfriend... I'm nineteen and I'm clueless!! I want to make him feel the same things that I am feeling when he touches me. But I'm not sure how or what would even be considered 'appropriate'.

Hello Julie,
One of the best ways to "communicate" with him, is to finger his hair, gently stroke it and his scalp and nape of the neck. Do this either in response to what he is doing for you, or, take the initiative. Use an effortless touch with a sense of lingering and timelessness. Either way, see where this leads you.

Another approach is to take one of his hands and explore his palm and fingers with your fingers. If you know anything about the lines in a persons hand and palm reading, you can talk to him about what you observe from "reading" his lines.

Whether you begin to cuddle or not, beat him to the punch by resting your head in his lap, first.

Have you been kissing each other? If so, then respond to one of his kisses by taking your hands and holding his face in them. Upon doing this, you can either not let him stop and pull him back to you when he finishes a kiss, and/or, you can take the initiative and return one or more kisses. Another approach is to reach up and fain the removal of an imaginary speck of something on his cheek. Once done, you can let your fingers caress his cheeks lips, eyebrows, etc. Probably a kiss should be tossed in there somewhere, also.

If the two of you are standing, walk up behind him and wrap your arms around his waist, holding him tightly--or not; whatever seems appropriate at the moment. You can blow air toward the hairs on the back of his neck; kisss his neck; rub his shoulders--whatever. Whether standing behind or in front of him, let the fingers of each hand lightly brush along his arms.

If you want to up the ante', so to speak, let your fingers trace along the front of his neckline and down the front of his open collar as far as the first button will permit.

Place your palm against the center of his upper chest as a gesture to something you are saying. You can hold it there, or, let your fingers run down the front of his chest before removing them.

These are all moves you can make that are suggestive yet not at all obtrusive. If there is warm blood in his veins, he will get your message(s).

> I want to turn him on.

One rather innocent approach is to rub your head against the bulge in his pants briefly when your head is resting in his lap. An either/or to this is to reach up and massage a pec. and finger one of his nipples through his shirt.

If you really want to be coy about this, first place a pillow on his lap before resting your head there. Later, remove the pillow (either making a big deal about it or not as the mood suggests) and snuggle your head up against that bulge as described above. Do either of these and see where it leads you.

> I've known him a few months now and I can see us moving on to a relationship, but I want him to know that it would be worth his while physically as well as intellectually and emotionally.

Guys are simple and direct creatures. It is important for us that you connect the dots or spell things out. Doing any of the things described above mainly communicates "sex" and that you like him or what the two of you are doing. It says nothing about your wish, above.

You have to talk to him and let him know this. If you are not yet going out together, socially, invite him to some function; or, simply invite him to a movie if he doesn't ask first. Hopefully, he will get the "hint" and at least suggest dinner, beforehand or later, for which he picks up the tab. Once this door is open, dating should follow if it is what he wants, also.

I hope these ideas and suggestions are helpful or give you additional ideas. Got questions?

[Julie8605]

Thank you so much for your help. I'm going out with him in a group tonight for dancing. We'll end up in the dorms afterwards I'm sure and I'm anxious to see what his reactions are when I test the waters with your suggestions. I really appreciate you taking the time out to help me and give me all those ideas!! I'm very new to this whole thing and I hope that it works out. You really seem to know what you are talking about.

We are not kissing but have, oddly enough, talked quite a few times about the status of our 'relationship' and what we want from it. He claims he wants to be 'just friends', but then the lights go out, he pulls the quilt over just us and suddenly 'friendship' is the last thing on my mind. I wonder if he's serious when he says that. hmmm.

I'm sure I'll have more questions as this continues. Thanks again!

~Julie

[moose_hd]

So what happenned? How'd it go?

[nursefluffykins]

lol yah seriously so many random glimpses into people's lives posted... and then we're left to wonder....
alright back to writing an exam for my students lol (and no i dont take inspiration fron what i read on this site, this is just my "break" time )

[ua322]

Originally Posted by Julie8605

Thank you so much for your help. I'm going out with him in a group tonight for dancing. We'll end up in the dorms afterwards I'm sure and I'm anxious to see what his reactions are when I test the waters with your suggestions. I really appreciate you taking the time out to help me and give me all those ideas!! I'm very new to this whole thing and I hope that it works out. You really seem to know what you are talking about.

We are not kissing but have, oddly enough, talked quite a few times about the status of our 'relationship' and what we want from it. He claims he wants to be 'just friends', but then the lights go out, he pulls the quilt over just us and suddenly 'friendship' is the last thing on my mind. I wonder if he's serious when he says that. hmmm.

I'm sure I'll have more questions as this continues. Thanks again!

~Julie

A handjob sure breaks the ice.

Let us know how that goes....

[Julie8605]

Hey everyone.
*sigh*

I'm so confused. I hate boys! lol. Not really.. I'm just frustrated. He was sending me all these signals for almost two weeks. We went dancing and it was great fun. I love to swing dance and I really thought we had something going for us. I mean... I was practically on fire when we danced!

We hung out so much and then all of a sudden when I go down to see everyone else he's never there. He's working or at a party or hanging out with other friends... whatever. He's never there. And then when he is all of a sudden this KELSEY girl shows up out of nowhere. She's glued to his hip. They aren't anything more then friends I dont think... so the other guys say. But he said that about me too! I'm so confused. Now he's hanging out with her all the time and when everyone gathers to watch a movie he sits next to her and they do God knows what under that quilt of his! I'm just... I'm at a loss. I thought I was reading everything right and I just feel stupid now. What should I do? Technically he's done nothing wrong. Technically I shouldn't be hurt.

But I'm a stupid girl with too many emotions that move too quickly.
Sorry to leave everyone hanging.
Any friendly advice to share?

~Julie