conversationallyvoid

[learningtodate]

i am currently 21 years old and going to college. I have dated a couple of times once in highschool and once in college. I am constantly told by woman that i am a very goodlooking guy, but too quiet. I have trouble coming up with conversation especially with women because my mind goes blank anytime i am with one. People might say that I might be putting too much pressure on myself but I dont think that is right. I truly feel like i dont know what to say or talk about. I was wondering if anyone else is going through the samething and how I could cope with this problem?

Let me tell you how much this problem has curbed my relationship life:
I was dating this one girl who was actually very interested in me. She found me to be physically her type. We sort of hit it off in the beginning, although there were times where I really struggled to come up with conversation. The first couple of times we talked wasnt too difficult because we didnt know eachother from before. However a couple of weeks into it, the progression came to a sudden halt when we went on a date and i couldnt think of anything to say. Because of this I became so nervous and she could tell becoming totally turned off and told me its not gonna work. I truly feel if I could manage to make interesting conversation we would still be dating.
Please let me know how I can gear my mind to become conversationally creative?

[canoestripper]

I feel your pain, man. I was much this way when younger. Shyness is difficult to overcome, but it can be done. Unfortunately, learning to socialize is done by socializing.

Get out and meet lots of people, and observe them. What kinds of things do they talk about. How do they behave. It may take some time, but you'll learn.

Talk about things that you have an interest in. It's easy to talk abut something you know about. Ask her lots of questions. Her likes, hobbies, work/school, family, etc. Depending on the person, you may not need to ask more than one question. She may take it from there. Others (more like you) you'll have to prompt regularly.

I know the hardest part of this for you is going to be to try to stay relaxed. When you get tense/nervous, your brain freezes and you can't think of anything to say. This is where experience helps a lot. It can help you overcome your nervousness. Unfortunately experience is gained over time with practice.

Hang in there. You can do it. BELIEVE that you can do it.