Confused & lost

[Frailty]

Well first off Ive used this site to try to find out some problems I had.I forgot my user name and password so I had to make a new name. But I come again to see if someone might be able to help me out or guide me in the right direction.

To start off Im a 18 year old male. The first time I was here was for a girl that I met during the summer and I wanted some questions answered from more expirienced people. It turned out to be the best summer I ever had. Sadly it had its drawbacks since every good thing has its catch to it for me. During the school year she would go back up north because her parents are divorced and she only came down here (florida) for summer, spring break ect. We both decided to try a long distance relationship and so we did. We'd argue sometimes over the phone and stuff but nothing seriouse. I gave her several doors to break it off together because I wanted her to be happy, the next time she would see me would be 3-6 months from whenever she left. It turned out she didnt come for christmas because her parents couldnt afford it so it turned out to be 6 months till the next time I saw her. So after giving her these doors that we could break up and go our ways she kept telling me no, and how I could be thinking stuff like that. So I had this idea that well shes happy with our relationship and I was set. Then the worse thing happened, she came to me one day and told me it wasnt working out and she couldnt do the long distance thing anymore because she couldnt trust her self. This made me so mad because I opened doors for her on several occasion to break up and she never took it and out of the blue she says this to me. We broke up and I thought the best way to get over it was to totaly not have any communication with her so I blocked her and so on. Come to find out she found another guy and that even made me more furiouse because she said she would never do that to me. I thought over time I would get over her and stop thinking about her. Now I really like this girl, I got so attached to her and I was so happy we were together. I know love is a strong word to use but I did love her so deeply I would of given up anything to have her come down for christmas and I was going to take that step but then she left me. The long it is the crazier I get and I cant stop thinking about her So I lived with not talking to her for 2-3 months ( we broke up in november). A few days ago my friend tells me he talked to her and said she was going to message me but didnt know what to expect from me. I get on one day and she sent me a message appologising deeply for what she did and now she knows whats its like to get hurt and she wants to be friends again and start off new. So I messaged her back. I unblocked her on AIM and we chatted for a while. Shes coming down for spring break and I really dont know what to expect or do. She has a b/f and I really dont know what the situation between them is. So yea you can say I still have a thing for her still but it will never work out until she moves down her permently when she gets out of HS which will be another 2 years because shes still 15. At the time this all happened I was 17. But the age difference isnt that much. And I also thing she was to young to really understand.

After 2 1/2 months of being single I feel hopeless of relationships, and I think Im not good enough to have a gf anymore. Because everytime I find someone theres always something bad that goes wrong. Sure I might have a GF now but I havent seen her in 3 weeks, she makes no effort to talk to me whatsoever. I have to drive 30 mins to see her when I do see her which was 3 weeks ago. And I except that it wont work out and Im basicly single really. Im a very nice guy I respect girls fully and Im just looking for one chance with a nice good looking girl. And to top it off Im a virgin at age 18 (by choice of course because I didnt feel comfertable with past Gf's) that was when I was 15. Now I want to expirience with sex and I cant really find a girl to share that moment with.

But yea this is more than one problem its a few difficulties I have, greiving for my past gf, my currect situation now but it all adds up to one thing.

Any advice or help would be appricated. And if you have any questions feel free to ask.

[Lass]

Don't expect anything from your ex. I was in a similar situation not even a year ago. I still loved a guy and we were friends and he knew of my feelings and I had to sit and watch him date other women...just be friends with her. If the thought of her having a bf upsets you, then its not time to call her a 'friend.' Tell her that and explain to her you'd still like to keep in touch with her but its too soon and you don't feel like you could fully commit to the word 'friendship.'

As for your current relationship...if you feel like you are single, then make yourself single. She doesn't seem like a great gal to begin with.

Overall man, don't expect anything from your ex when she comes down. Because if you start having expectations, you're gonna have hopes and wishes, and when those don't come true, you're gonna hurt a lot.

[Frailty]

Originally Posted by Lass

Don't expect anything from your ex. I was in a similar situation not even a year ago. I still loved a guy and we were friends and he knew of my feelings and I had to sit and watch him date other women...just be friends with her. If the thought of her having a bf upsets you, then its not time to call her a 'friend.' Tell her that and explain to her you'd still like to keep in touch with her but its too soon and you don't feel like you could fully commit to the word 'friendship.'

As for your current relationship...if you feel like you are single, then make yourself single. She doesn't seem like a great gal to begin with.

Overall man, don't expect anything from your ex when she comes down. Because if you start having expectations, you're gonna have hopes and wishes, and when those don't come true, you're gonna hurt a lot.

When I said expect anything from her I didn't mean it like inturperted to be. It was more of a question on why she all of a sudden wants to talk to me. And why she contacted me a month before shes coming down. Does she still like me ? Does she want to still be "friends" for a future maybe you know. Because when she left me I was so mad and said I would never talk to her again, and I didnt for over 2 months. Even I know long distant relationship suck, even married couples couldnt last if they were apart from eachother for a long period its just not possible. And I kinda blame my self for thinking it would work out. It doesnt really bother me that shes going out with this guy because even if she wasnt shes to far away for us to really have anything(3,100 miles away to be exact)