Kind of confused...

[Lonewolf*]

Okay my boyfriend and I, I guess havent been together that long compared to others. But long enough. I love him so much.

Just wondering if I'm a sucker for words. Cause some of the things he says, I can be in the worst mood ever and those words just warm me up and make me want him there at that moment. Not that I dont always want him there.

I'm worried because I dont want to be one of those people that ditches their friends for their boyfriend all the time. I havent been going out much lately, been tied down by homework... so the times I do go out, its normally to see him. So what happens to the rest of my friends? Yes sometimes they're there. But then theres others that I dont see at all anymore. So I set a time to go out with my one friend Ash who I havent seen for a while... we're going to see a movie but my boyfriend kind of wanted to see it with me. I think he's disappointed. But yet.. I dont know.

I got curious when I stayed the night at his house the other day. Like, I've I guess you could say..played with a guy before, although we got interrupted because we were kind of at a party. But it was more or less through the pants. So that one was weird since it like just kind of stopped half-way through. I would have gone further if it hadnt been for my friends coming in and jumping on us. That actually doesnt bother me because I didnt really like the guy, I was more or less... under the influence of some things.

So when I was at my boyfriends house, he was holding me, we were watching a movie on his bed and we kind of started making out. He was scared because he didnt know how far he could go with me because I am a very uncomfortable person a lot of times. But I got him to basically.. well nothing below the belt for me. Meanwhile, curiousity... I kind of wanted to just feel him down there. Yet it was weird cause well I have no clue what I'm doing and I kind of felt like an idiot afterwards. He seemed fine. I wasnt going for giving him a handjob, I just wanted to... I dont know what exactly.

We've known each other for a while now. Hes two years older so it gets weird sometimes because he doesnt go to our school anymore, and he can go to bars. And all that. He doesnt really go to bars, but its just weird to me because hes older. Normally I just forget. (I'm 17 by the way, going on 18 is less then 3 months)

I dont know what I'm looking for in the way of responses exactly. I just want someone to tell me something

[Lass]

My friends realize I only get to see my bf once a week (long distance relationship) and yea, I'd love to have nothing but a girl's night out, but sometimes...i dont know. Depends on the person.

I'm not sure what you're asking for though. If you dont want to go too far just for a while feel him through his pants. Once you're comfortable with that, give him a handjob. Explore. I know it can be, well, embarssing when you don't know what to do but hey, at one point none of us knew what to do. lol.

My guy and me have been together 7 months and there are still times when I get gun shy around him during certain acts of sex. But when that happens he just goes back to something he knows I'm comfortable with and we retry.

I hope I helped. ^.^

[Lonewolf*]

Ya I'm not even sure what I was looking for. I've just been frustrated and figured I would write out some things there. I think part of it is that I want to have sex with him, but well.. when I started writing that post I was talking about the whole 'sucker for words' I think thats my main concern. Is like, am I just falling for his words? How do I know the difference between whats sincere and whats not. I think its all sincere. But the fact that I'm falling for everything he says scares me. I never wanted to do that.

And when do you know you're ready to have sex with them? I know I wouldnt just yet, I want to wait a bit longer just because I want to have been with him for longer. But when I feel ready to do it now... like... how do you know?

And curiousity; any tips for handjobs?

I think one thing that makes me feel good is knowing that my first time.. will be his first too. I like that thought just cause then neither of us are experts.

[Lass]

Wait until you are ready.

I lost my virginity at the wrong time, with the wrong guy and I regret it more then ever now, becuase that's the one thing I can never give my guy...I was his first, and although we 'say' he was mine, he wasn't. And it hurts.

There is no 'right' time. Even with marriage that marriage could end...just keep waiting. When you get the urge to have sex with him, take a deep breath and ask yourselve: Am I wanting to have sex with him because my hormones are raging, or because it feels like the next step in our relationship to bond more?

[dancingdoc2]

Tradiitionally, the woman sets the limit on how far they go. You can set it anywhere along the journey you want--and, you can extend your limit at anytime without out notice. When you feel comfortable with him, your sexuality and level of intimacy, feel free to extend your boundary if it is what you want.

There is a technique known as "Implied Consent" that works well in this situation. It works by understanding that the couple (man) can kiss and caress his partner up to the point where she says or otherwise indicates they have gone far enough. Consent is thereby granted and he as well as she can feel comfortable working within the confines of the limit she hAs set up.

When she is more comfortable with her increasing level of intimacy, she can move her point beyond which they will not go to something more daring and intimate. Having done this, how is a guy to know what the new boundary is?

Simple, he tests boundaries. The couple makes out and when the guy gets to the previous limit he will discover that she does not stop him from trying to go further. He is then free to continue making out until he reaches her new limit whereupon she will say or indicate that this is far enough.

As with any obligation or activity, you have to make time for friends just as you make time for your boyfriend. At some point in time not too far from where your relationship is now, the newness will wear off as will the intense infatuation and need to be close to him. Your new more mature relationship will have a better more realistic perspective and you will be more comfortable with smaller doses of each other. This will also give you more time for friends. Both of you should encourage the other to join in with the other person's friends and essentially participate when appropriate. Of course there will be times when you and one or more friends will want to do something by yourselves, and the same with him; however, as a couple you need to develop friends whether they come from your respective circles or are newly established. So nurther the friendships.

[Lonewolf*]

Thank you Lass. I'll keep that in mind, I think it'll be a while because I know its something I cant get back.

My one friend didnt help any today, told him that me and my bf were planning to be drinking this weekend. We have this little bet on who can drink more, sounds dumb I know. But it'll be fun, I can drink quite a bit, and I've never seen him drink that much so... I dont know the outcome. Yes normally guys can drink more (stereotypically thats what I've heard) but I dont know.

But ya, so my friend that I told. He started saying... go buy condoms. And I tried telling him that we werent going to be having sex and he laughed and told me to go buy them. I refused to so now hes saying he's going to buy a some and give them to my boyfriend. Great. That will probably give him the wrong impression.

Sometimes I want to hit my friend, but hes the only close friend I have who has/is sexually active. He gave me visual advice on handjobs, and other things I can do. By visual I mean he used his arm. Not any other part of his body.

I guess thats another thing I'm wondering about, wow I'm all over the place for my topic. Sorry guys. Just wondering, like... okay I kind of dated inside the group, so his friends are my friends and vice versa for the most part. His best friend, is the one I talked about above giving me sexual advice, hes a very good friend of mine. I know my boyfriend gets jealous really easily, and hes told me he's gotten upset before about some of the things he hears that we talk about.

Our friend, Adam, knows a lot of things about me, what I want, things I dislike about my body, etc. And I know my boyfriend gets kind of frustrated at that but he wont ask me not to talk to him about those things cause I know hes not that kind of guy, he wouldnt mind if I was talking to a girl, its just because its another guy. Although he would no doubt appreciate it if I did stop. But at the same time, if I feel comfortable talking to Adam about things like that then should I try to stop?

Last night was the first conversation in a while that I had with Adam about another sexual, and it turned out to be very good, filled with advice. So why would I want to stop that?

Another thing my boyfriend hates is that I play fight a lot with the guys in our group. I love to play fight. And he gets jealous when he hears/or sees me playing fighting with the guys I think. I can understand why he would get jealous of the one because its my ex (my ex and I are still really close friends. I can still see why I liked him, I just dont feel that way about him anymore). But I dont get why he gets jealous of Adam and me play fighting, especially since Adams gf Laura is there too.

In fact, she play fights with my boyfriend. So like... I dont know. Just kind of wondering if I should be trying to stop having sexual conversations with Adam, and should I stop play fighting? I dont see why cause it makes me happy. But I know it also gets him frustrated. (not to the extent that he would try and stop me)

Wow this post became longer then it was suppose to be and all over the place.

[Lonewolf*]

Okay, thanks. (^.^)

[WallyLlama]

Just one quick observation... if you keep drinking with him... and making bets about who can drink the most...

You can pretty much bet that whether or not you remain a virgin won't be something you'll have to deal with...

[Lonewolf*]

So basically you're saying what my friend was assuming. That us drinking together means we're going to have sex?

[WallyLlama]

Probably. You are setting yourself up for it with all the talk about sex and the experimentation...You're creating lots of sexual tension. Add in getting drunk together and I'm quite sure you will end up having sex together.

Read the board. There's one thread right now that involves a guy who got drunk and cheated on his girlfriend, and there's plenty of other posts linking getting drunk and being "stupid."

Your friend who's buying you condoms...

The handwriting is on the wall. We're just reading it.