anal inexperience

[pureplay]

hi, everyone, hoping to get some good advice especially from the men! I'm an attractive female in her 30s who loves sex and and loves to try out new things. I've had threesomes, been with women, and had very loving intimate relationships. On the other hand, I'm not as sexually experienced as I wish I was. For example, I've tried anal sex a few times but I've always hurt myself. Now I'm in a relationship with a great guy who gets turned on by all kinds of things anally...I want to too but I'm nervous...I also want him to have a good time so I don't want to disappoint...and are most guys interested in anal play (i'm talking sex with penis, dildos, double penetration)...any advice?

[dancingdoc2]

I have no statistics to support a claim "are most guys interested in anal play"; however, within in my personal library of books and information gleaned from the net, I would say, "no". That said, I believe there can be a large segment of men who include it in their fantasies, and, there is a significant portion of society who enjoy anal play in one or more forms. Done with proper care and concern I believe it can be an enjoyable activity for both partners. Being male, and, having enjoyed prostate massage as well as the benefit of bigger better orgasms as a result of having the nerves in and around the anus stimulated, I say with certainty that this is enjoyable for men; and, the latter can be enjoyable for women, also.

> I've tried anal sex a few times but I've always hurt myself.

Please clarify: do you mean you have actually hurt yourself, or, that you have been hurt by your partner(s)?

If you have had a physical exam then you most likely have undergone a rectal exam in which the doctor has inserted his/her finger. A well lubricated finger inserted with gentle pressure and not vigorously poked, prodded, or shoved, should not hurt. If it does, the liklihood is that the lubricant missed a spot when initially spread about. The fix is to stop, pull out, and reapply additional lube making certain the affected spot is lubricated.

When offering tips to others wanting to know the how to of it, it has been my recommendation that the anus and sphincters be "conditioned" prior to any actual fingering and/or insertion of a dildo or penis. The spinctor muscles are made to move matter out and naturally try to prevent movement inward. Also, a person's natural reaction is to bear down and clamp the anus shut when being probed. A conscious decision is reqired to relax and let things go inside. If you do not relax, first, before having an object inserted, and, if not lubricated adequately, then, yes, insertion or the resulting stroking is quite likely to be painful.

Lastly, it is important to know and understand how the nerves of the anus work. It is certianly OK to tentatively finger the outside anytime in passing; however, they really only turn on and become reactive when we are very highly aroused. It is during this period of our arousal stimulating them is the most effective. These nerves augment the sensations created by other forms of caressing. An analogy would be like lighting an afterburner on a jet engine or reving up the turbocharger on a gasoline engine. Stimulating the anal nerves (and especially massaging the prostate in men) boost the intensity of what we experience from other caresses.

I hope this is of help. Got questions?