I wana cum

[Joie]

I've only had 2 fairly short sexual relationships and i have never orgasmed with either guy - not even been close! Its really fustrating becasue i can make myself orgasm when i'm by myself in like 2 minutes! I told the guys i've slept with what i like in bed and stuff but i just can't seem to relax enough to cum and i always seem to concentrate on pleasing them! I don't think i can get used to some one else being with me if you understand? Any tips to help me let go and achieve my goal would be very much appreciated!

[dancingdoc2]

> I've only had 2 fairly short sexual relationships and i have never orgasmed with either guy - not even been close! Its really fustrating becasue i can make myself orgasm when i'm by myself in like 2 minutes!

That you can masturbate and experience an orgasm is the key to enjoying an orgasm with your lover. We do not give orgasms away to our partner. Each of us are responsible for our own. All any of can do is to help our partner achieve her/his own.

Each of us understands the basic mechanics involved in stroking a penis and fingering a clitoris; however, there is more to this than meets the eye. Ever since we learned to masturbate, each of us began working on a unique and specific method that we have come to rely upon. I call this the "fine art" and it must be taught to our partners. My recommendation is to demonstrate how you masturbate and then to take his fingers in your hand and guide his movements several times until he learns to mimic what you do by yourself. The same holds true for him with you.

If we are left to our own hit and mis movements then we only stand a 50/50 chance of getting the job done right. With something so important who wants this as a batting average?

Furthermore, it is also very important to give each other feedback on how we are responding to their caresses and for what we may need--now. When we masturbate we benefit from internal feedback. We loose this critical component when we turn our arousal over to someone else, therefore it behooves each one of us to give our partner verbal and/or non-verbal feedback so that adjustments can be made along the way.

> I told the guys i've slept with what i like in bed and stuff but i just can't seem to relax enough to cum....

Asking for what you want is a good thing, yet you must accompany this with feedback. This is why it is a good idea to teach each other how to mimic our movements, rhythms, and pressures.

> I don't think i can get used to some one else being with me if you understand?

I believe you will be able to relax when you are more comfortable with yourself, your partner, and this level of intimacy. When these three components come together you should be just fine.

> i always seem to concentrate on pleasing them!

This is all well and good; although at certain times during the proceedings you should trade off and let him take over with the emphasis on pleasing you. In short it is called: "Tit for tat".

[Brandye]

Look on the bright side: You can reach orgasm! One-quarter of all women cannot or do not. So you are ahead of the game. There is another 50% of us (I am in this group) who never or rarely reach orgasm through penile thrusting; we require some additional stimulation.

The trick now is to find what gets you going. You have the advantage of knowing where you are going. My first orgasm with another person was with a girlfriend. I am not advocating, but merely pointing out that without a penis in the way, I was able to discover what pushed my buttons. And women are more sensitive to what is happening with a partner.

I have had patients in middle age, with several children, who experience their first orgasm. A position I find very pleasant, because I have an orgasm with a penis in me, is lying on my back with my knees draped over my partner, lying on his side and entering me sideways. That is a position where either of you can stimulate any part of the other while having the penis in you. It works best for me if I have him focus on my breasts while thrusting slowly and I stimulate my own clitoris. Amazing how often my orgasm sets him off while I am still pulsing.

[girlysexnerd]

I sympathize- I really do, I was with this guy a bunch of times, and he would do his thing (oral usually), and I would just lay there. Eventually I would get tired and bored and pretend to climax, INCREDIBLY FRUSTRATING! I was the same way with masturbation. All it took was the right partner (the guy had a magic tongue I swear), when you find someone who reads your body language and can give you what you want and need to climax, It will be heaven. If you think this is the guy and he just can't get it right, accidentally introduce him to this site. Seriously, he might blow it off to begin with, but he'll go back and read up to see what he can do to spice things up.

[ShadowLynnParker]

If at first you don't suckseed try, try again. lol Just relax and try not to think so hard about it. Keep trying night and day, weekends, holidays, well you get the picture.

[Doodlebug]

Do you make sure that there is plenty of foreplay? Also, you might want to have your guy give you some clitoral stimulation as most women do not orgasm with vaginal penetration alone.