Need help dropping clues

[mm99]

oka.. me and my boyfriend have been going out for about 2 years and like 3 months.. and the first year and a half we've been having sex like real hot and heavy and it was great... but i graduated high school and i went to college and we hardly see each other now.. and i dont know.. it feels like all we do is just plain sex its not hot for me any more... we are getting married and i dont want the flame to die? I dont know how to tell him "hello, try making it romantic".. i donno.. i just need help with trying to spark things up and making them romantic again... i dont want to loose the flame

[missyh]

wat u could do... go to different(high exposed public places) places, get toys, etc.
and have a big chat with him and tell him you both have to work at this and explain how much it means to you to not let the spark go. do it all before marrage! then u have not got the pressure of "were married" over yous! keep in touch hope it works out ok

[AndreBone]

I went out with my ex-gf for five years and had a similar issue after a couple of years. We experimented with all sorts of different positions, music, showers, baths. All of those things helped.

I think I'm a little older than you and you obviously don't have to disclose your age but if you're in college NOW is the time to "see what's out there." I'm not saying being a slut is the answer but might it be a good idea to take a break with your current bf and see what it's like dating others?

I could be way off but you don't want to get married wondering what else is out there.

Good luck, I'm sure you'll make the best choice for yourself!

--Andre

[moose_hd]

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Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (missyh @ Jan. 02 2006,08:07)]and have a big chat with him and tell him you both have to work at this and explain how much it means to you to not let the spark go. do it all before marrage! then u have not got the pressure of &quot;were married&quot; over yous! keep in touch hope it works out ok

YES!! I wish more women would give up on this whole "dropping clues" thing and just ask for what they want. Directly.

That would make things go so much more smoothly for both parties in a timely manner with very little potential for misunderstanding.

That stupid "clues" game just gives women more fuel to think "he doesn't love me because he's not a mind reader" and the guy wonders wtf is going on when she dumps him in hopes of finding a mind-reader elsewhere.


WOMEN!! DO YOURSELVES AND YOUR MEN A HUGE FAVOR AND JUST ASK DIRECTLY FOR WHAT YOU NEED! WE ARE NOT MIND READERS!!

Thank you.

[j56h]

Here's something you could try.

When he's around the house and you'd like to get him in the mood for some &quot;passionate sex&quot;, get into some sexy lingerie (best if it'll give your boobs a good lift). Make sure he sees you in it, even if you have to be bluntly obvious. Then when he's good and aroused (or at least wondering what's next), put regular clothing on over the lingerie and tell him you need to go to a store or something. Leave him at home alone for a while, so he can imagine you doing your shopping with your sexy lingerie just under your clothes. By the time you return home, he'll be ready to tear your clothes off and give you some loving that you won't soon forget. Make sure you work him over psychologically by telling him how many men tripped over themselves or were distracted by you at the store. Something like &quot;I would have brought home some eggs, but the boy bagging my groceries was eyeing up my chest and dropped them on the floor&quot;. I'll bet if you do this one time for him, he'll ask you to do it again and again in the future.

P.S. Make sure it's FUN for you TOO!

[mm99]

oka i have tried everything... i even slept basically naked knowing he was going to come over the next morning to wake me up so we can go somewhere.. nothing.. i dont know what it is...

[lakimada]

why does the guy always have to make things &quot;romantic&quot; take some initiative and get it started yourself, your only limitation is your imagination

[starrystarrygirl]

as stated many times in this forum, communication is key. talk to him and tell him what you want. if he loves you, he shouldn't be hurt that you want sex to be more romantic and not just flat out for pleasure. you don't have to hurt his feelings or anything, but just say &quot;hey, lets try something new...&quot; and go on to tell him how you would want it. compromise though, if he's not totally for your idea, let him plug his own thoughts into it.

[mm99]

i have talked to him about it.. he just says he'll try harder.. ive done a lot of things to make it romantic and pleasurable for him.. and its like he takes it.. 2 seconds hes done and thats it.. I've tried so many things, ive bought sexy underwear, toys, strawberries, u know the works, and nothing seems to do anything..

[starrystarrygirl]

try telling him it's a real concern of yours, which it seems to be, or tell him what he's doing, in this case not doing. sometimes when i'm trying to work on something, it will seem to me like i'm doing a good job, but in reality, not much has changed. that may not be the case though.

if that doesn't work, tell him during sex what you want him to do or how you want him to do something.