i have really upset him!

[Rosie]

hi hi everyone,
i just need help well some opinions on what has just happened to me (as of last night) have i acted out of line??? or should he respect what i am trying to say??. I met a guy at uni he is 24 and i am 19 we both do the same drama course, we have known each other for a year now. We were both seeing different people until about 4-5 months ago, he was actually seeing one of the girls from our production *tiana, well i thought it they were seeing eachother. However, he has told me that she just wanted a f**k and he wanted more from a realtionship at this point in time, n we started to talk more after him and tiana ended. i do like this guy, he has the personality that i am so attracted to, but i have just come out of a really bad relationship and have not had the best past experiences with guys (forceful) and i am really really cautious about diving into something now.

last night we met for some drinks at the pub, n he told me he really likes me n that i am what he wants in his life, etc: etc: and i just said i like you but i am not ready for serious things right now, because if something were to go wrong i dont think physically and emotionally i could handle it (have been thinking about getting counciling). He understood that but then said "i dont want to be friends with you because i couldnt deal with that" again i can sorta understand that, n i again told him i just wanna take it slow, n he got really upset saying i am "punshing him for persuing a relationship with tiana" n he has sorta adopted the 'all or nothing' approach!?? and at this stage in my life i am not ready for something so full on because i just can;t deal withthe emotions, n ihave told him this n he said......"well..........we will just see what happens" ni asked him, "are you for real? or is that just a nice way of telling me to P*ss off?? n he has not replied.

i enjoy being with this guy, i have never dated someone that is that much older than me, he is a very physical, touchy guy, n it kinda scares me just because of my past experience n he didn't take that too well either.......what can i do?? i didn't want this..... *

[marieb82]

Plain and simple, He should respect what you are saying. He shouldn't push you into something you aren't ready for or try and guilt you into a relationship with him.

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] ]n he got really upset saying i am "punshing him for persuing a relationship with tiana"

. How are you punishing him, it's not even about him, it's about you and the things you need to over come. Go at your pace because if you do what he wants now you are the one who in the end will suffer the emotional scars if/when this relationship, you weren't ready for to begin with, should end. Also, I think that if he really liked you like he says he does, he would be okay with being your friend for now, he obviously can't see it as a getting to know you period (I think because as a friend he's not entitled to other things). I don't know what kind of person *Tiana* is but maybe you should get her side of the story as well and not just his, then make your evaluation of him, by all means don't tell her what he said about her just wanting to f**k, I'm sure you can see the end result of that if you do. Well Thats just my opinion, hope it helps(if not I'm sure there is someone else that can). Good luck, and be good to yourself, only you know whats best for you.

[Rosie]

hmmmmm yehh, i know that he should try and understand what i am trying to say, and in some ways he is, i just didnt expect the reaction that i got from him! it sorta set me back a few paces. He is a real sensative guy but it did really offend me when he said "he didn't want to be a friend and that he couldn't do it" but in some ways i understand where he is coming from but then there is the other side where as u said "he isn't intitled to other things" hmmmmm. I thought i was all for him, but now, i not to sure :/
I am not going to rush into anything, but i do feel bad for upsetting him but to me there was nothing to be upset over??!! oh i dont know i am confused...

[Thunderchild]

well u made plain what u wanted to say. if he does have feelings for u he will respect ur needs. in his place i would