relationship inquiry

[Adasm]

does anyone know what the percentage is of men who contemplate if their woman is fooling around on them? i've been a small number of serious relationships and have never had to worry abuot my g/f cheating...and i've never got that sensation...but, i've always sensed when things we're going to go awry and i've always been correct...but, i've been seeing a girl for three months now, we're committed to eachother, been sexually active (sort of, she wants to hold off as much as we can) she comes from a good wholesome family (italian) and i've got absolutely nothing to worry about...but, i just have a funny feeling something else is going on...for instance, when she first met me me (from an internet dating site) she was already seeing someone else (their relationship was purewly sexual, claims that she didnt feel anything for him, it was a mutual, sexual relationship) and she was on this dating website purely to find a guy who she could have a normal, commitable relationship with, and she has...but, in my mind i think back to the fact that she saw me while seeing that other guy, and there are times when i feel that if she could do it then, she can do it again...my senses tingle somtimes that she is seeing someone and i've never felt it before...should i in fact be worried?

[oberon]

I can't help you with percentages, but I think everyone has probably experienced worry that their significant other is cheating... or might cheat.

It all boils down to whether or not you trust your girlfriend. Only you can decide that. If you have some basis for concern... such as catching her in a lie... then you might be right to be worried. Otherwise, I, personally, wouldn't let supposition ruin a good relationship.

[WallyLlama]

OOOOO! Yet another opportunity for me to climb on my soapbox!

Why is it that we seen determined to judge the quality of our relationship by the absence of cheating?

There's a lot that can be said about insecurity, jealousy and trust, certainly... but it seems to me that we get the cart before the horse sometimes. If we focus on building a positive relationship, "cheating" can become a relative non-issue because there will be no need or desire for anyone outside the relationship!

Should you be worried? Look at the quality of your relationship together and ask yourself (and her) if that relationship makes you both feel complete.

If we paid as much attention to our partner's needs and our relationship with him or her as we do to evidence of his or her "faithfullness"...

Hmmm... maybe we need a slogan on my soapbox:

"Love her, don't suspect her."