Dillema: My priorities

[jefferaldo]

Hi all,

I'm 14 years old and I haven't gone out 1 on 1 with a girl before, only as a group with friends. I was encouraged by a few older and close friends to do so. Here's my problem, there is this girl I like which I met through a friend and I have been talking to her for a while. She recently asked me out after school one day.

I care a lot about my education and want to keep my options open for the future in uni. I have a full music scholarship at a very good school and I am currently on probation because of my behaviour toward some staff members and students and input into my acedemic work. On this particular afternoon she asked me out, I had orchestra practise. Although I hate it, I know that if I don't turn up without explaination, my chances of staying at this school will be almost 0%. I had turned her down after thinking for a while and by the tone of her voice I could tell she was very dissapointed. I want to know if I made the correct decision or not.

Thanks all.

[LovesToLick]

Yes , you made the right decision ! Don't throw away your education for a girl that may not be around a week from now.
Your very young , and there will be a lot more opportunities for dates.

[canoestripper]

Hi jefferaldo,

I think you made the right decision, and it's great that a person your age has the foresight to put your education first. There is just one thing I would add. You say there is a mutual attraction between you and this girl. Have you told her why you turned her down? From your post it sounds like you just kind of turned her down without explanation. If you like her and want to pursue a friendship, explain to her what you put in your post. She should understand, but if she doesn't, then you know she's not for you. You can have a relationship so long as it doesn't interfere with school.

Can you invite her to watch orchestra practice? That might be fun for both of you, and then you could go out afterward. It would show her that you are committed to your studies, and include her in something important to you.

Hope this helps.