Are online relationships a good thing?

[jinkies]

I heard that "online relationships" between b/f and g/f dont last that long... My online g/f and I have had a four month relationship...do you think this is a good thing and will it last or die?

[WallyLlama]

Whether or not a relationship is good... whether it lasts or dies... that is totally dependent on the people in the relationship!

"Online" relationships are not somehow automatically destined for failure. They can be difficult, for sure. One thing you'll want to do is to recognize that an "online" relationship is more than that... it is very possible to integrate your relationship into your daily ("real&quot life. How you label things can be important... so you might want to come to think of your relationship as "long distance" (LDR) and recognize that "on line" is just one way you talk and share.

Successful relationships certainly have a lot to do with communication... and the sort of relationship you have is based on communication.

I'd say the fact that you've been together four months suggests you have a good thing going... don't listen to the negative people, do what you both want and enjoy yourselves!

There are several folks here in very successful LDRs... let us know if we can help!

[Tessie]

I'm almost 6 months into my long distance online relationship and never been happier. Yes, it's hard, but as long as you communicate and take those extra steps to put each other first it can last.

[The1stTriSexual]

I think they can be very successful because the emphasis is on eachothers personality, and most important, you both have to want to be with eachother. *I just flew to meet my LD gf 3 months ago (after a year of talking on the phone/online..we met on our anniversary), and we have been living together ever since. *The transition to being in person with her felt natural (although it was a little awkward at first,,"what does she think of me?" type of stuff...but we were secure enough with eachother to be able to talk about it). *Sooo (without going on and on) relationships that start online can be very successful, and dont let distance ("we'll probably never meet&quot be a reason to break off something that you feel is special. *I wouldn't be holding her in my arms each night if we would of gave up (and we almost did).

[Mia]

I moved 3.5 hrs away from home for study at the beginning of the year and I met my boyfriend online (although i already vaguely knew him through my sister). We have been together 3 months and met face to face 2 weeks after online, which i know isnt long but felt right. I have seen him a lot in person over the 3 months since we live rather close to eachother, so i guess it is a little different to others situations. But i do agree with WallyLlama, the relationship is based on communication and i feel you get to know eachother much quicker than you would face to face. then when/if you meet i think the physical side of the relationship needs a chance to catch up to where your hearts at. LDR aren't doomed to fail, but you need to discuss issues like trust and how long you are prepared to continue LD. Just curious, to those people who are in LDR who met online do you feel the accelerated level of intimacy to be an issue? Me and my bf are so close already, it feels like we've been together for years.

[WallyLlama]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (Mia @ Oct. 08 2005,18:46)]...But i do agree with WallyLlama, the relationship is based on communication and i feel you get to know each other much quicker than you would face to face. then when/if you meet i think the physical side of the relationship needs a chance to catch up to where your hearts at... Just curious, to those people who are in LDR who met online do you feel the accelerated level of intimacy to be an issue? Me and my bf are so close already, it feels like we've been together for years.

Accelerated intimacy... an interesting concept!! LOL Loripop and I frequently discuss the incredible level of intimacy we feel and experience... the connections are incredible when you learn not to measure distance in miles. We too feel like we've been together for years... but every so often something pops up and leaves us laughing... "I didn't know that!!"

[Kawaii Koinu]

My fiancee and I met online and a lot of our relationship has been and still is online (we've moved up to phone more often though and been together a few times). We've been together 10+ months and I know it'll last forever.

[Mia]

hmmm interesting... i have another few questions for anyone in LDR.
How long have u been together and how long do you plan on living separately? Do you have plans for one of you to move to where the other lives? My bf and I will probably be apart for a few years yet (besides the 5 months off i get each year), because both of us have responsibilities where we live.
I am interested to hear about how others cope with the distance...any little rituals that you do together?

[Tessie]

We met 5 ½ months ago and fell in love in the first week of chatting. It took a bit longer to say the words, but not much more. We are working hard right now to get out lives in order so we can be together. By, the end of February next year is the plan.

Both of us don’t much like the states we live in and we are able to go wherever we want. We have it narrowed down to a few places that we are researching.

We cope by starting our day out with morning emails and a chat if we can. We usually always chat on IM or the phone during the afternoon and we chat every night for two to three hours. We are lucky that we get so much time together, but it is never enough.

[WallyLlama]

Loripop and I keep a mutual "todo list and schedule" that we share by email every day... Like Tess, I think regular contact is key - but don't be too limiting. It's nice to send or get an unexpected text message or phone call too.

The key is to find ways that help you feel connected and close.