Social Disorder: How Do I Ask Her Out?

[MasterBater101]

Ok I have only had one girlfriend in my life and that was only because she asked me. I have a social disorder that causes extreme stress when I am in akward social situations and this is one for me. And I already have severe anxiety disorder so the anxiety is doubled. Also there are some girls at my school and I think they like me but I have some suspicions that they only talk to me because they feel sorry for me because I am a total nerd...What should I do? Any and all advice is appreciated.

[girl12]

Ok, you are diagnosing yourself with a social "disorder."

This is bad right off of the bat because you are giving yourself an excuse not to ask girls out. If you really want to, you can get some confidence and do better in these situations. By diagnosing yourself or letting yourself be diagnosed with such a disorder, you are making yourself helpless.

-Mariah

[WallyLlama]

Hmmm... In another thread (dating outside one's race) "Masterbater" writes:

it is absolutly fine I am French and date Asian women alot (high Japanese/Chinese populus) and of course that is a huge fetish of mine but I don't see why not.

Forgive me, but perhaps the diagnosis should be "multiple personality disorder?"

[Tessie]

Hmmmm?

[MasterBater101]

Ok I should have worded this differently. Five years ago I was diagnosed by my psychiatrist with a social anxiety disorder and have never been good around people. Now I really want to but I just don't have any courage at all (it's true) and the paranoia just doesn't help at all. Now Wally I was screened for that and that was my ADHD talking and then I saw a euro on the floor and it was shiny and I forgot to say it in a complete thought.

Here is a list of my disorders:
Anxiety
Social Anxiety
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Severe ADHD
Depression
Paranoia
Insomnia
Severe Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
And last but not least, Asperger Syndrome

[ductapefaerie]

I can relate to the anxiety, because, although I haven't been diagnosed by a physician of any kind, I definitely have major anxiety (e.g. I cry whenever faced with a stressful situation). I've always been nervous with making the first move and stuff, but with my bf, I made almost every first move. I only made these because I was comfortable with him. Maybe you could start talking to her, just like a friend, but don't limit yourself: you can go farther if you feel like it. This could get you more comfortable with her, making it easier to talk to her and stuff. Also, for a long time, I couldn't confront people at all. I would just clam up and not be able to say anything. After I told my bf, he would watch for when I was upset (I would try to hide it) and make me talk to him. I would always cry, but it helped. Now I can talk to him about anything, and only rarely do I feel nervous. I hope this helps!

[MasterBater101]

Yeah that is a problem...for him*as much as you I might add ...I know not helping. Speaking of my neurological disorders well, that is why I wasn't on for a while (don't ask) but I tried all that and I have some really funny stories from that.

[Edited for grammar]

[MizMinx555]

This is probably an over simplified answer... (and I really do understand as I have been diagnosed with several anxiety related disorders as well), but you can't let your anxiety rule your life. I realize that these issues are added complications, but the only way you're going to overcome them is to stop blaming them. There's this theory I heard about (so not joking...): "No Excuses.." No matter how hard somthing is to deal with, you take a deep breath, suck it up, do what you need to do and push through it. Period. I'm not trying to be insensitive at ALL... this is somthing that has really helped me deal with my shit... no matter what is. I hope it may help you to, or even just give you somthing to think about.

And, an aside note to ductapefaerie: If you think you have a problem with anxiety, you should contact your primary care physician and ask him/her to refer you to a psychiatrist or a psycholigist... (its not a good idea to diagnose yourself). Anxiety can be serious and really debilitating if its severe enough. It can be really easy to treat (either with meds or counciling), but its really important to talk to someone if you think you're having problems.

[canoestripper]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (MizMinx555 @ Oct. 13 2005,00:06)]This is probably an over simplified answer... (and I really do understand as I have been diagnosed with several anxiety related disorders as well), but you can't let your anxiety rule your life. I realize that these issues are added complications, but the only way you're going to overcome them is to stop blaming them. There's this theory I heard about (so not joking...): "No Excuses.." No matter how hard somthing is to deal with, you take a deep breath, suck it up, do what you need to do and push through it. Period. I'm not trying to be insensitive at ALL... this is somthing that has really helped me deal with my shit... no matter what is. I hope it may help you to, or even just give you somthing to think about.

This is exactly how I got over my anxiety. Suck it up, and don't let it control you. It worked wonders for me. It does take a lot of willpower though.

[Trivium]

i guess i have social issues as well, i have a horrible stutter, where i just stand there like a fool and im un able to say anything, its quite comical to the person who happens to see me, or the person im trying to talk to, but it makes me furious not being able to say anything.. at first it was hard to even attempt to talk to girls. then i just had a breakthrough, I Stopped Caring. and it worked, i still stutter like a mad man, but who cares? i certainly did not.