Ex issues

[DCX]

My girlfriend and I have been together for 6 months as of Thursday. We love each other but I've been having a problem with her ex's.

Before we got to gether she had sex with 6 people. That doesnt bother me because I did too. What bothers me is that sometimes i just get an image of her having sex with the exs and i cant sleep or eat afterward. We talked about it a few times but i just cant seem to get over the fact the something so special between us was shared before with other men. I dont want to feel bad about it because honestly it was in the past. I just dont know how to let it go. How do i not think about her past. Any help would be appreciated.

[canoestripper]

Hi DCX,
This may seem a little off the wall...

Consider for a moment:
The earth spins on its axis at 1000 mph.
The earth rotating around the sun at 67000 mph.
The sun rotating around the milky way at 56000 mph.
The milky way rotating with andromeda.
The local universe rotating around another.
so on and so forth...

Does THAT bother you? Most people don't even think about it, and if they do, it doesn't make any difference. There are SOME people, however, who obsess about it. They think about it so much that they actually get dizzy.

What I'm trying to get at here is that you need to LET IT GO. You can think about something, or you can obsess about it. You're obsessing. There are millions of people in the same position as you that don't think about it. You are your own worst enemy. I know it's not easy, but if you make a conscious effort to get over it, I think you can.

Hope this helps.

[oberon]

You might look at it this way, too... You COULD thank those people. They are part of the reason she is who she is. Isn't that the person you love? Without those experiences she might not be the same person you met. So enjoy the product of those test runs that she made.

Take care.

[DCX]

Thanks for all your tips. The one thing i just cant get passed is not that she had other partners but its the fact that due to her living situation... one of them is always at her house and he flirts with her and she flirts with him. I fear that she will cheat on me or something. I trust her not to but if he makes a move and she is intoxicated or something how am i supposed to not be concerned?

[canoestripper]

Ah, the pot thickens...

So there is more to this than you first said. Talk to her and let her know your concerns. After that, you'll need to trust her judgement. ..unless there is some reason not to...that you haven't mentioned...

[mjv154]

Look at it this way....that what the two of you do together is so much more than what either of you have done in the past.

Your no longer with the people you were intimate with before, because you weren't right for each other. So when you find the right person, it's something completely different.

Take comfort in the fact that it is far more than anything from your past.