Is she selfish?

[Darran87]

Hi everyone.

Yesterday I was talking to my gf about her and her X bf (Peter). She was telling me how they broke up. They had been going out for about 2 years and they broke up over the phone both saying they shouldn't go out. Anyway the next day she slept with her X bf before Peter.

She told me this cus she tells me everything but when she told me this I felt really annoyed and sad. I don't know why but its been bothering me and I can't quite put my finger on it. Why is this??? Is it because I think its just totally out of order?

[WallyLlama]

Lots of possibilities!

One is that you think she somehow "devalues" intimacy and relationships... another is that she's too spontaneous... and the more you think about it what will bother you more is that it doesn't appear to bother her. You want to believe that you are thinking about your feelings, but you are really thinking about what she did.

Since the cat is out of the bag, so to speak, your best option is to tell her how you feel about it. (Don't judge her, make it about your reaction, not what she did.) The question then becomes what you both are going to do about your feelings.

You can't change what happened. But you can change how you feel about it and what you do about it.