Major confusion...

[cassandria]

I'm best friends with a guy ['Tim'] who I have some 'history' with - we never dated properly, but we have always been extremely attracted to each other, to the point that we have messed around together a few times; and this has caused a few problems, namely because he couldn't decide whether he wanted me or his girlfriend. As the situation stands now, we are both single, and maintaining the platonic relationship. The attraction is still there, but out of respect to our friendship, neither of us acts on it.

The problem is that recently I've become friendly with this guys younger brother ['Mark'], who's in the same year as my younger brother [they have both just finished their A levels, and are both 18 - myself and Tim will both turn 21 in the next few months]. That in itself is not the issue; the issue is that I like Mark a lot and potentially I could see myself falling for him - perhaps to a greater degree than I felt for Tim, perhaps not, I can't tell yet - but there are a lot of complications. The age gap isn't really an issue with me; Mark is very mature for his age and we have a lot in common. What concerns me is Tim's reaction. He makes jokes about Mark liking me, but I'm not sure how he would take it if he thought I felt the same. My history with guys is not exactly perfect; I have not had any long-term relationships, and when single I have several friends with benefits who I see a lot of - I have a high sex drive, these guys know exactly what they're getting, and I have never slept with a guy who's in a relationship. However, I tend to lose interest in relationships before the guy does [no idea why, I just get bored really easily], and so coupled with my 'f*ckbuddies' I have gained something of a reputation among my friends. They don't judge me for it, which is why they're still my friends.

Anyway, my concern here is Tim. While he, like the others, doesn't have a problem with my attitude to guys, I can't help but think he might feel differently as far as his brother is concerned. Ordinarily if someone had a problem with it I'd tell him where he could shove it, but Tim is one of my closest friends, I love him, and I'd hate to lose him over this. Ideas anyone? Thanks *

[canoestripper]

cassandria, it looks like you have three ways you could go about this:
1) Do nothing, and retain the same relationship you have now with both of these fellows.
2) Start something with Mark without Tim's knowlege and worry about what he thinks when he finds out.
3) Talk it out with Tim first.

I would go with #3. I think you probably have a good idea what Tim's reaction will be, but he may surprise you. One thing I can tell you for sure; you won't know unless you try.