A little advise?

[Dan89]

Ok so me and this girl I like have known each other for like a year but its only really been on the bus because a little after we started talking her parents hated me because of a misunderstanding. I've tried to clear myself with them but I doubt that will ever happen. Ok so my problem is I really, really wanna go out with her but like I said her parents hate me and I just don't know how to do it or even if she likes me. By the way if you have to know I'm 15, shes 13. I know it's a little... yea but I really like her and all this summer I couldn't get her out of my head and had a whole lot of dreams about her. So can I get some help. Thanks.

[Trivium]

Hmm.. ive been in a similar position, girlfiend and i ditched an event we were supposed to go to.. her parents didnt know where she was all night and we didnt have a cell phone.. and we were eventually caught because of poor planning.. and her parents didnt want her dating until she was 18 (15 at the time) so that completly destroyed their trust in me.. she was finnaly allowed to go on a date with me.. after it.. i bought her mom flowers and thanked her for letting her daughter go on a date.. and amazingly.. it worked.. they trusted me

i guess in short.. try buying her mom flowers.. i dunno worked for me.

[Dan89]

Well thats a little hard. I'm very shy and the last time me and her mother were like near each other, she was like yelling at me and her husband was like pushing me and my old friend around. I also don't know how to get flowers. My parents hate her parents and I can't exactly just leave the house. Actually its been months since I've gone out of the house without my parents. Yea I don't exactly have friends. Ugh Sorry I'm gonna start bitching again. I really don't know what to do. I sit in my room all day on the computer. Danm does anyone know if it's dangerous to stare at a computer all day? Like will I get brain damage or anything? Or is my ma just trying to scare me? Sorry I started bitching.

[WallyLlama]

One way to earn trust (whether it's from her parents or yours) is to act trustworthy and demonstrate that you are responsible.

Your Mom is right... while staring at a computer screen all day may not cause you direct physical harm, you are doing nothing to develop social skills (necessary for dating and making friends).

Turn off the computer, get out of your room and do some chores around the house that are helpful to your family. Go for a walk around the block... in short, if you don't like what's happening in your life, change what you are doing.

It may take some time to see the results, but you have some time!

[Dan89]

I know I should get out but where to go and with who? I have no friends. Also thanks for the advise but i was hoping some advise with the girl not just her or my parents. I wanna know if and when I should ask her out and also how and how to find out if she likes me.

[Mistress_Nyx]

If it is a thing between the parents, then that is just complete BS. If they are adults then they would put things aside, but then again.... It is hard to find a resonable adult when it comes to their child. Do you still see her on the bus? Have you been in contact with her afterwards?

Parents can be overpowering and unreasonable because of social classes and so many other things. They often forget that they should just be happy for their child no matter what their choice. They might not realize that this just might be a 15 year old's crush and might not go further than a few dates to the movies and look at it in the long run as "can this guy support her" or "will she suck the life out of him and leave him in the red"?

But one of the best pieces of advice here is that you gotta turn off the computer and get out into the sunshine. Friends or not, go and walk somewhere whether it be to a park, the local arcade (do they still exists?) or museum. There are way too many people that spend their lives staring at a screen and waiting for a screen name to chime on so they can type to them. Nothing takes the place of human contact.

What are your intrests? Whether it be gaming, anime, anything, there are people out there who share your intrests. Search it out on Google and find a venue in your area where others congregate and meet them. If school isn't the place to make friends, then you just might make them elsewhere.

When I was your age (15 years ago) the internet was just for the big wigs and such. We went out and did things. Not that they were completely legal, but we got out of the house and found something to do and not play video games or talk in chatrooms. I tell my friend's little brother, "At least I have stories to tell."

You'll never meet people if you don't go out and find them.

[WallyLlama]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (Dan89 @ Aug. 16 2005,19:28)]...but i was hoping some advise with the girl not just her or my parents. *I wanna know if and when I should ask her out and also how and how to find out if she likes me.

We are talking about a 13 year old girl, right? The reality is there is no way you are going to deal directly without a 13 year old girl without parental influence. I know a lot of parents who would not allow a 13 year old girl to date, period.

Your original post made it sound quite clear that her parents are not going to allow you to date, so any suggestions about asking her out are pretty pointless, really.

Finding out if she likes you requires talking to her, not dating her. Does she have a computer too? Can you chat/email? Talk on the bus and see see what the possibilities are...

[canoestripper]

Thank you Wally! *high 5* That was exactly the response I wanted to give.
Dan89, You have to learn to look at the "Big Picture". In this case, that means acting responsible=gaining some respect from your/her parents=being able to openly interact with her. It's hard for you to see now, but you have plenty of time. You do need to give it some effort though. It's not going to fall in your lap. Good luck.

[Dan89]

Well I can't just walk somewhere theres like no where to go. And I can't just leave the house. I can't just get my parents to drive me somewhere. I just can't do anything by myself I have to do something with family or non existent friends.

[Metalixia]

Is there a local learning centre, night school, or gym?

I do judo and go to the gym, where I keep fit, meet new people, and gain confidence.

How about learn a new language, or join some club?

It takes a lot of guts if you don't go out much, but you'll never regret it. Ever.

Take it from a guy who was in your position.