So there's this girl...

[HighFive]

Ok, I have this thing for this girl I know. I really super like her (which she knows), but, she has a boyfriend. Me and her are really good friends, and I am slightly protective. Ok, I am lying, I am way protective. And the guy she is going out with I know, and, he isn't a "good" guy. I mean, if you can think of it, he has done it.
Alright, so, I was talking to her the other night, and had the idea that maybe me and her could kind of go "out" and talk about these things. Like, the guy she is going out with. I would've asked her then, but, I realized I should get someone else's view on it first. So, why not the experts!?
If you think I should do this, tell me, also tell me what type of place I should ask her to. If you don't think I should do this, still tell me! But, please give me at least SOME advice as to what to do.... please?
Thanks

[WallyLlama]

There is certainly no universal dating law that I know of against asking someone out even though they are dating some one else. There are, however, some consequences.

There are no experts here, by the way. Just lots of experience.

A big caution for you: you are protective. Don't for a minute think you are going to rescue her from a "bad" boyfriend. She is with him because she chooses to be with him.

Having said that, I would lean towards not asking her "out." You were talking to her, you could have just continued the conversation at that time. I'd be less concerned with having a "date" and more concerned with finding out what she thinks and how she feels. (Including what her understanding is with her current bf - are they exclusive? and whether or not she thinks it would be appropriate for you to ask her "out.&quot

You can do that on the telephone... or sitting on a bench somewhere. You don't need to go on a date to talk.

While dates and rituals are important aspects of relationships, they do not make relationships. What makes a relationship in a large part is your ability to communicate with each other.

[yetagainsorrows]

I am confused and it could just be me on this...but when I read this I am lost on if you want a date or to warn her about him.

If it is the latter how do you know him, what has he done to get you so wound up. Is he all this bad or are you making him out to be so you have a chance with her? She obviously doesn't see him as a bad guy and if/when she does then you can be there to help her out as a FRIEND.

You can't force relationships and she will respect you more if you wait until she is available to date, not when she is taken. If you mean she could be in danger, then by all means do warn her as a friend, not as a date.

If not then all you'll end up looking like is a desprate obsessive guy trying to break them up and that isn't what you want nor what she wants, trust me.