Scars

[m*a*s*h*]

Ok, ive been seeing my current gf for about 2 months now. Now, we have only had sex once, and that was at a party and it was dark so we avoided the problem that is concerning me.

When i was younger, i used to cut myself. Quite badly and there are a lot of scars on my arms. Now before, our only time, she was too drunk to notice. Now however we are talking about having sex like properly. And im terrified of her seeing my scars. Should i just admit that i did it? Im scared she would find this quite weird and it would change things or even worse she will leave me.

If your boyfriends or partners admitted this to you what would you think. This whole hting is really worrying me.

[lilly2279]

That was in the past.

Unfortunately cutting is becoming more and more common in today's youth. She should not run off if you tell her.

I would only tell her if she asked. Just sit her down and say that you had some difficulties in your younger years and used cutting as an outlet for your emotions. Tell her how you've since learned to deal with your emotions and that she should not be worried about you.

[pheonix]

she would be more upset in you not telling her then if you actually tell her i think. she might see it as you dont trust her, even though it would have nothing to do with that.

[m*a*s*h*]

I dont know anymore. my other problem is, its summer and she wants to go swimming, and well, as you can imagine, i dont feel comfortable with that. Not only that, wouldnt she be really embarrassed to be seen with some freak who is obviously psychotic!

I mean, i'm such a loser having done thins anyway, but i dont wanna lose her cos its not like girls find these things on my arm especially attractive.

[lilly2279]

Talk to her about it.

Are they visible from a distance? How big of an area?

Most people will probably not even notice, but be prepared to answer if people ask. It's a part of you. You have to learn to accept it and others will be accepting as well.

[m*a*s*h*]

Theres a lot of slash marks all the way dow both arm and across my wrist, so its kind of obvious. I guess i need to talk to her about it, im just worried she will say she finds it too weird.

[pheonix]

i really would tell her about them and talk to her about them. she may find it wierd she may not but it'll be worse you not telling her, living with that unknown guilt that usually manages to creep in from nowhere lol especially when you dont need to feel guilty.
she'll be understanding and if she isnt then you have saved yourself the agony of trying to hide something from her at the very least.

[Tiana]

Hmm well I feel what you're saying. I used to cut myself too and even though my scars aren't so visible now you can see them if you look closely. My boyfriend saw them once while we were just hanging out in my room, and he asked me about it. He wasn't shocked or disgusted or anything, we just had a chat about it and he was very understanding and caring. But whenever he saw new ones he would get really upset and quiet . I think that your girlfriend won't have as bad a reaction as you are expecting, especially if they are old. I'm sure she will understand and accept you for it. After all, that was then, no?

Good luck and keep us posted!