Partner Going Clubbing

[The_Kiwi]

Hi there,

Firstly this isnt really a sex related post, but any feedback would be greatly appreiciated. Thanks in advance for reading...

Im involved in a longish distint relationship (4hrs driving) and we meet up monthly for a year now and have a great time and all. When we dont meet we send a rediculous amount of txt's and chat a few times each week, emails to etc. To start with we both went out to pubs and clubs every now and then as we didnt get to visit each other. Its hard to say no when your friends want you to go out and fair enough?

But now I cant bear the thought of her going out. Cant bear thinkin of her with other men (even drinking and dancing). Shes kinda a flirtatious and attractive person but I trust her... I worry still that when shes dancing with other guys It mite lead to more? And when drinking. She says she only wants me and all. Shes the best thing in my life but is just so hard when shes out in town. But after all what is it you go out into town for? If you have someone you already love? Shes planning a nite out for her birthday which isnt for 3 months...

Can this work? Reads again, ok so its way off forum topic but if anyone has a few spare min it wud be appreciated. Please give positive and neg feedback remembering I love this person and want it to work.

J

[Skyby]

Okay so its natural to be scared about her cheating on you, if you werent it would mean you didnt care... however you have to realise what is healthy and what isn't.
You said you trust her and she loves you? then tell yourself your being silly, and try not to think about it. Alot of people DO go out purely to pick up, alot dont. I have been with my boy (you guys are prob getting sic of me talking bout myself but its easier for me to explain by example) anyways, ive been with my boy for a year, I love him dearly and would NEVER cheat on him, however it doesnt stop me from going out without him. I love girls nights, I go to dance, have fun and be social, sure guys hit on me, but I always send them on their merry way because Im in love and in my eyes none of them compare to what I have. Im sure your g/f is the same. Unless she gives you some reason not to trust her try not to worry too much.
If you cant stop stressing over it talk to her about it, explain to her that you trust her but it is something that worries you cos your scare of loosing her, im sure shell understand

[lilly2279]

Bottom line is that you have to trust her. If she loves going out and dancing with her girlfriends do not make her feel bad about doing that.

If she's going out for her birthday and is already planning for it, can you go too? I know it's far for you, but it sure would be special for her birthday! i would ask if she'd like you to come.

But you obviously can't always be together. You either trust her or you don't. You just can't make her bad about having her own life with her friends when you are not there.

[The_Kiwi]

Thanks for that, it really helped I was just being silly! :-) she asked me out of her own free will to see her on b.day :-)

[WallyLlama]

Boy, can I related to this! LOL Is it a coincidence that I just had a birthday? LMAO

The feelings you describe are among the most difficult in a long distance relationship. One thing that's important to remember, the feelings are not necessarily bad. We've discussed ours and realize that we both trust each other deeply, but the insecurity comes because we are SO important to each other... much the same as worrying about each other's safety, etc.

If she knows I'm feeling off, I might get a simple text message "I love you" when I least expect it... those are the ways, Kiwi. If she's going out... tell her it would mean a lot if she'd text you during the evening... or call you when she gets home.

Don't deny these feelings, manage them together.

[finewine]

I agree wholeheartedly with Wally.

Tell her what you feel and both of you together find ways to validate those feelings.

Don't be afraid to tell her your honest feelings...
She may be feeling the exact same way as you....

All good things wished for you and your love, Kiwi!

[secretly_shy]

you need to TRUST HER!

I recently went to Magaluf (nicknamed "shagaluf&quot for a weeks holiday of clubbing with 3 single female friends, and my bf trusted me totally as he knows i only have eyes for him