What Is A Relationship?

[STKMikeCampo]

A girl and I have been seing each other for about 3 months. we've known each other for about 3 years but not very well, just "hi\hello" everyday, chit chat High School type thing. Both of us have never dated anyone before, we've done the usual things like dates and hanging out, we don't talk alot but when we do we sometimes feel ackward and nervous but we do get good conversations sometimes till 4am. Neither of us like talking on the phone or in general. We are with eachother at least 3 out of 7 days but its often with her relatives and friends around. Thats mainly because her dad gave her the "I trust you, its other people I dont trust" speech, so we can't do much but be at her house, anything else is complicated and requires alot of lying. Her dead is excessivly sensitive, if he were (he has) to see touching or hugging he would leave for hours.

bascially we dont talk much, see each other often. if i ever want to call her or set something up, i always hestiate and feel nervous but when I reach her its gone. We really like each other but always feel hesitant and nervous. its been like that for three months since we started seing each other. i don't know if this normal, if thats the right question to ask?

Is a relationship about getting to know and appreciate someone, with pleasuring each other in between? we really like each but have difficult communicatin intellectually. we're both have shy personalities how do we break that? i like her but i guess I'm affraid to show my tru colors. i don't know wat to do. i don't know how to make her feel special.


We really like each other, are both virgins to everything but masturbation... we felt each other up. she also made me do this thing where I applied pressure to her "?euterus?" (thats wat she said) just pushing down or somthing can someone also enlighten me on that

i think basically I\we dont know wat to do when u like someone, haveing someone as more than a friend. I have no clue what she wants

this post is *incoherent because I have some many things to say but dont know where to start and how to say it, if u disifer through it and see wat is up i'd appreciate it.

[pheonix]

hmm i view a relationship as a friendship knowing people very well.
a sexual relationship well i view that as a relationship ie a girlfriend/boyfriend/man and wife type thing including sex.
i think basicly getting to know someone is a good start to a relationship and being with them and doing things together ordinary things, that can be a great help, but the question is what do you want from a relationship/friendship?
hope this helps slightly i know i'm not yet an expert but someday i plan on being an expert,

[STKMikeCampo]

Thanks, that help alot

thats the thing... I don't know what I want from a relationship/friendship

[blueshark]

I'm probably going to type alot because I always have ideas. Get some popcorn if you want

Mike, I know what you're talking about, and to some extent I am experiencing the same thing. It is frustrating I know. How do you get something that you know is there but that you can't see?

I know you've both got no experience with this whole boyfirend/girlfriend thing. That means it is an adventure, and you're definately behind the wheel. You can take this wherever you want!

Start with realizing that no one but you can tell you what you want. Think about it for awhile. Start with acknowledging what you've already got, (a great girl you are attracted to and enjoy the presence of) and think "what would make this better? what is missing" Once you've got yourself a few ideas, turn them into goals and work towards them.


You're both shy, but can definately talk till the wee hours of the morning. is this only occasionally? you say you seldom talk. When you say you have difficult communication intellectualy what do you mean? I understand you want your conversations to be deeper, but how so? what do they lack now?

You feeling hesitant and nervous is definately normal. I'm going to tell you a story about me being hesitant and nervous.

I ended up with my first girlfriend when I was 18. we talked tons, and made an effort to see each other as often as possible. I loved being around her but everytime our eyes met I almost died. I never knew what to do next or say next, and was always worried I was going to do something "wrong"; my stomach was constantly in a knot. One day she told me she had a kiss for me. I was excited but nearabout shat myself when the time came to actually kiss her. But it was great. By spending more time with her, telling her exactly how i felt and why I slowly became comfortable enough to be myself around her. (She told me that was her favourite person in the world.) And even kiss her when she didn't ask to be . She was a patient one.

She taught me that if you have an impulse to say something, say it. If you want to reach out and touch her hair, do it. dreaming about it won't get you anywhere.

The next time you want to call her up and arrange something, DO IT! you will be so glad you did and it'll be kind of a rush too when she says yes. Just bite the bullet and force yourself to dial. And don't worry about her old man answering the phone. Don't be afraid to show her your true colors. Be honest with her that'll be a good start.

Trust me, I know it's not easy, but it is really worth it.

As far as her dad goes, that's a real bummer. Does she have a mother around? An understanding one?

You're right, a relationship is definately about appreciating each other. It's also about sharing, caring, trust and communication.


phoneix is right: getting to know someone is a good start to a relationship as is being with them and doing things together.

You know this girl, and you do things with this girl. all you've got to do is talk to her. I'll bet she is waiting for it. Someone has to make a move, and I think it's going to be you.

You want to make her feel special? start small... ask her how her day was.

tell her how she makes you feel, tell her something that you really like about her. Show her you care.

In conclusion, get comfortable around your girl by acting or talking before you can hesitate. you'll both open up and before you know it, everything will be golden. I hope I was of some help

[Skyby]

i think blueshark hit most of it on the head, but i want to add one more point about her dad.... If you go to her house, make an effort to talk to him even if it just "hey mr x how ya going?". Show him what a great guy you are and that he can trust you with his daughter. Im sure if you are open and friendly with him he will warm up to you and be happy to have you around.

[STKMikeCampo]

ya thats what I've been trying to do with him.
Thanks for the help, more welcomed!!!