making it more than a friendship

[Rob-Roy]

Me and a friend of mine have become close friends in the last few months. *We both like each other alot, but because I'm leaving for university in the fall and she's going into grade 12 she thinks we should take it slow. *Not that I want to go fast anyways, but I think she is really leaning towards just being friends and I would like it if we could be more than just friends. *I'm really not sure how to explain that to her, advice on the subject would be wonderful. And I know I was rather vague, so just ask if you don't understand something. *Thanks in advance.

[WallyLlama]

You might think in terms of specifics. Telling someone you want to be "more than just friends" might get you a "huh?" I'm not a huge fan of labels, so it's not as simple as coming up with one.

To some extent you have to define your relationship together, especially if it's going to be "long distance" for a time. She's a senior in high school... are you expecting her to not date? Can she expect the same? How are you going to stay in touch while you are apart?

The problem is, if she's leaning towards being "just friends" there's not much you can do to convince her otherwise... and to do so might be very unfair.

The question before you both is one of how much you can be to each other given the distance. If you can discuss and answer that (and keep answering it after you are apart) you might find that you become more than just friends.

[Skyby]

Long distance relationships are HARD, especially if you are only just starting out, i tried it when I went away to uni and even though we had been together for ages i still cheated on him (which i regret so please dont judge me for it) Im not saying this will happen just giving you a warning, its hard to be a teenager with raging hormones and having to be faithful to someone who you rarely get to see

[cassandria]

One thing i have learned from being friends with a guy i like In That Way [and this is a long and painful story, please don't ask me to go into details] is that a lot of the time its simply not worth the friendship. It's an incredibly rare occurence to find a close platonic friend of the opposite sex, and I say when you find one, hang on to the friendship, because [in my experience] it will hurt so much more to lose it.
And to be brutally honest, if you're starting at uni, the last thing you will want is to be in a relationship when you're starting what is essentially a whole new chapter in your life. You'll be meeting loads of new people, and i can pretty much guarantee before the end of your first month you'll have met someone you're attracted to, maybe someone you like better than your [girl]friend. It's just not a great relationship-sustaining situation. Stay friends with this girl.