Do nice guys really finish last?

[loveaddict]

This is a question for the women out there. There is an old cliche out there that "nice guys finish last" Is it true? If so why? Some of my friends who have no problem getting girls say their trick is to treat girls like sh*t. Does this really work or does it just work with a certain type of woman?

[Konman72]

I'm not a woman, but I am a nice guy.

I didn't have a girlfriend until I was 19 years old....so.....yeah....I finished in dead last, but the thing is, all the mean guys who treated their girls like crap ended up pissing them off, and now their looking for nice guys. My current/only girlfriend used to date a guy who demanded oral sex on a daily basis, and would cause her pain durng sex and not even care about it. Conversely I never demand any sexual favors, and I provide her with what she describes as "incredible sex". She is extremely appreciative of how I treat her, and even brags to her friends....I'm really not trying to be self-congratulatory here, I'm only relaying what she has told me lol.

So, now that I'm done rambling, I can attest that nice guys tend to finish last, but in the end they are happier and end up pleasing the girl that the mean guys turned away.

[thetease13]

The nice guys may finish last in some cases, but they're the ones the girls go looking for in the end.
A girl (or anyone for that matter) can only be treated like crap so many times before they start looking elsewhere.

[Skyby]

NO! my last guy I dont even talk to anymore cos he was the worlds biggest A hole, my new boy i have been with a year and I love him so so much, I am always bragging to my friends about how perfect he is because he respects me and is a nice guy....
Another guy that i had a holiday thing with I still know and want to try to set my friends up with him because he is THE nicest guy i know... only problem is he lives in another country lol.
I think that the only problem some nice guys have is that they are no good at chasing girls because they are too nice and seem to think irls dont want them and back off when i reality they are just playing hard to get.... my advice keep at it, within limits of course, dont go stalker style...

[LastChance]

Nice guys usually do finish last. The reason for this is you don't do what attracts girls to you. If your a typical nice guy the girls that you really like you shower attention, praise and basically don't act like a man. The girls you aren't interested in you don't call, you don't always have time for them and you end up having them chase you.

If your a typical nice guy the girl that your really into you will always have time for them even when they don't give you the same affection or attentionin return. The girls realize that they can have their way with you and that is a turn off. The jerk gets girls because he doesn't place them #1 in his life. He makes them come after him because they want what they can't have it makes them more attractive. Don't fall head over heals or at least don't let the girl know that right away and you'll have better success.

[Sailormanjack]

"Nice guys finish last." Well, I suppose it has become a cliche. Originally, it was a quote from Leo Dorocher, one-time manager of the Brooklyn Dodgers and the New York Giants. He was talking about baseball, not sex.

Think about the character traits you want in a woman. Do you want a bitch? Do you really think women want to date bastards? Now that you've thought about it, the question answers itself.

[lilly2279]

I don't think nice guys finish last, but it does often seem that way in almost all parts of life. The aggressive guy gets the girl, makes the money, etc. They nice guy gets pushed over and looked over.

My nice guy did finish last, but he is the last guy I will be with! I wish I had met him first, but wonder if I would have been ready for him? I think I needed to go through all of the crap before I met him so i would appreciate him more.

Anyway, don't treat women like crap. Have some self esteem and some "get-go" to get out there and ask girls out. Have self confidence, then charm them with your nice personality.

[WallyLlama]

I sometimes think I have a self-imposed mission to create balance in the world and in relationships.

There is one aspect of the "nice guy" role that hasn't been touched on yet, and it is about creating balance in relationships.

Nice guys sometimes get so focused on being nice, on how they are treating others (the woman), they don't allow themselves to get treated nice back. Then they "finish last" because they don't expect anything and don't ask for anything. That is very frustrating for a good woman who truly loves her man unselfishly. Women who enjoy being treated nice are common, women who know how to respond are rare. It took me a long time to truly understand that, and - more importantly - it took an incredible woman who loves unselfishly to help me understand it.

So one might say that I found an incredible woman and she found me when "nice" included what we both need and want. Having found each other we are now both finishing first, together. I know the original post was directed at women... maybe I'll ask her if she will post her thoughts. LOL

[iamawesum69420]

Well for awhile I always ended up with assholes for lack of a better word and I always ended up getting hurt. I guess I didn't want a "nice guy" but now it's totally different. My boyfriend is the first guy I've actually wanted to be there in the morning. For awhile I just thought I didn't like cuddling or being in a relationship but my boyfriend has changed all that. I don't think of this as just sex.

So I guess it just depends on what you're looking for with a girl. If you're just trying to get laid then probably nice guys will finish last but if you're trying to have a girlfriend then I don't think that's the case at all.

[Borbosha]

I don't post too often and don't really read through the posts too often either, but I wanted you guys to see something I found on another board. I think you guys will like.

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] ]This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and *****ing about what *******s guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative *****es. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete *** now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.