CASUAL SEX

[LifeIsAJourney]

Hi there,

Iam a 16 year old female and where I live in our village other teenagers do have casual sex. Its just a very normal part of teenage life.. everyone has casual sex with some boy they like at one stage I suppose!
Its really strange how it works.... you dont have to go out with them and date them but just too like them enough to do sexual stuff with them.
Ive given head and been fingered by this one boy... Im not going out with him and im not best friends with him... but I see him around on the weekend and I really like him and he likes me so we kinda just get together and do sexual stuff. However, we girls are safe and do use condoms and take the morning afte pill from the doctor.
All my friends just have sexual relationships with other boys they are not going out with or that close friends with but meet up with, really like and end up doing stuff together.

So come on you teenagers... tell me if casual sex happens where you are or your experinces or thoughts on it.

[Skyby]

It does happen where im from... kinda. I mean people say its just casual sex only they tend to get attached and cranky if their "partner" hits on other people so its more like a relationship without saying it is... if that makes any sense

[snickers1]

So, are you saying that you love the boy or that he loves you? What about marriage? Would you consider him to become your husband in the future? Is he husband material to you, but, better yet, are you wife material to him? If you answered no to all, you really have some serious growing up to do. Not everyone does it, which is a bodlface lie. I'm significantly older than you are and I NEVER did it when I was your age. You know why? I was choosy with whom I had as friends. I would never even consider having sex with her if she was not a potential wife to me. Old fashioned you say? Perhaps, but at least I don't get HIV, AIDS, STD'S...how about you? Plus, when one sleeps around, one gets that kind of reputation...is this something you want, just for the sake of having sex? Safe sex, ah yes, the condom. Not 100% reliable, hope you weren't absent when they covered that in class.

Lastly, you girls complain about the guys not giving you attention? You gave in, why should they give you attention? Think about it. If you feel I stepped on your feet, good, maybe you'll think about your reputation as well as your own body next time "studly" wants to j/o...you can and have the right to tell him to "...go off and do it by yourself." He doesn't love you, my girl, if he "cries" about not having sex with you. Sex is like icing on the cake. At 16, you're not ready for it and it really does cheapen everything else, including yourself. Is this what you want?

[HerPleasure06]

Lets see…I’m going to hold back as much as I can but this wont be easy:

Hey snickers…f***ing back off asshole, I don’t know if you’ve noticed in your few days on our friendly board but we don’t treat people like shit. She asked if other teens have casual sex. Not for a lecture on your right wing, Christian values and why she should follow them, that’s great that you kept your self to your self. But she is not you, she does not live by the same morals you do and she did not ask to hear about how she should. Another thing…age has nothing to do with when you are ready for sex. The proper time is you feel you’re ready. Not when some twit tells you your old enough….Next time u get an urge to say something like what you did….don’t

[HerPleasure06]

Sorry you had to get lectured by one of the boards’….less open minded members

To answer your question, LifeIsAJourney, yes kids in my town do that, not all of them but a lot of them. I’ve been in situations where I could have, but I didn’t like the person enough. If I was with someone I liked enough and the opportunity arose then yeah I would do it, even if we weren’t “going out”… the only thing I would suggest is make your first time with someone you really like and who likes you and will be with you. After that it's different but as everybody says you remember your first time for the rest of your life. But everybody has their own opinion

[WallyLlama]

I am not going to get dragged into this debate that is clearly going to go way off topic.

But a little tolerance goes a long way and conservative positions (right wing whatever they get called) have just as much place as do liberal. It is interesting how often these conservative postions seem to generate personal attack as if somehow anger proves truth.

There are "arguments" in favor of casual sex and "arguments" against it. Let's give teenagers some credit for intelligence and allow them to hear BOTH sides. The question included "let me hear your thoughts on it" and it's really unfair to attack some one who answers the question just because you don't agree!

[LifeIsAJourney]

Im very thankful to the comments posted by her pleasure06 and wallyLlama.... I think that snickers1 missed the point totally!
All I wrote about was my experiences of casual sex where i live *and ''thoughts'' from other teenegers... I was not expecting such a thoughtless reply from snickers1. He clearly did not understand my situation or point I was making.

[HerPleasure06]

Wally…. Care to read snickers post more carefully? I didn’t attack him for giving an answer. I attacked him because he attacked LifeIsAJourney. It’s one thing to give an opinion and it's fine if he wants to be right wing or Christian or what ever he is. But he didn’t just state his opinion he basically chewed her out for not following his beliefs. Now I have a lot of tolerance, probably more than most but the one thing I will not tolerate is people who force their views on other people.

[girl12]

Snickers stop trying to force your views on other people. I completely agree with herpleasure06 that you need to back off and why dont you just state your opinion instead of telling her that she is going to die if she doesn't follow YOUR rules.

Teens in my area dont really have casual sex but casual boyfriends. It really confuses me lol.

-Mariah

[lilly2279]

Basically I know you are asking for opinions from other teenagers. I'm not a teenager, but I'd like to join in!

And, sorry for the "significantly older" person who went on some kind of tangent. lol.

I think casual sex is a lot more common now than it used to be even 10-20 years ago. When I was separated from my husband, I dated lots of guys. I made friends with some and we enjoyed each other's company in sexual ways, as well. It was a great way to blow off steam and fulfill that sexual desire. I am on birth control, we used condoms and these were men I trusted at the time. (I'm not saying I was with a bunch of different guys at the same time! This was during a period of 3 years)

I think it's fine and dandy if you can keep yourself from getting too emotionally involved. Some girls can't. Just don't assume that you're in a relationship if it's already been said that you're just having fun. Young girls can get into lots of emotional trouble that way and not everyone is cut out for it.

When I met the man I'm with now we dated and have a serious long term relationship. I'm glad he's not as closed minded as some geriatric people. lol. He knows I had my fun and now I'm settling down with him. There are some men who have sex with all kinds of women, but then want to marry a virgin (like that's even fair!) but those men have mental issues and you should stay away from them anyway. I should know cuz I married one of them!

Good luck, hon!