in need of severe advice

[Roywyn]

my boyfriend recently asked me to marry him, I agreed because I love him very much.he got me a dimond ring and everything, we are now debating on how to tell my parents. my now fiance and I have known eachother for about three years, but have been officialy dating for 4 months. we dont plan on getting married for another year or two. but we are sure we want to get married. how should I tell my parents. I'm 18, and they thihnk I'm too young.

[oberon]

What's wrong with what you just told us? *You aren't planning on getting married for a year at least... I would think if you can wait that long and stay together, then you should be as prepared as anyone is for marriage. *

Best wishes.

[WallyLlama]

I'm in the category of "might agree" with your parents, but there's really not enough information to make the judgement.

The fact that you are having trouble figuring out how to inform them of your decision suggests your decision isn't completely thought out.

If your parents are like most they are interested in "life planning" that includes what you are going to do in terms of furthering your education, a career, becoming financially independent...

Being sure you want to get married is no where near enough for your parents and really doesn't prepare you for marriage. It's a good start, but you ought to put some specifics around it... for the sake of the marriage. Do that and telling your parents will get a whole lot easier because you'll be demonstrating to them that you are NOT too young.

[Rawbob]

Well....i guess my question is how are you hiding a diamond ring from your parents?

Personally, this is an easy one. You want to get married, you accepted his proposal, you are wearing his ring, and you're 18...guess what..you're an adult..time to take that first (or in this case 2nd or 3rd) step in adulthood - stand up and take responsiblity for your decisions.

The fact that you have already waited to tell them is going to be an issue with your folks....you should have run home to them crying with tears of happiness and told them what just happened.

Now, you have to not only tell them you are engaged, but why you kept it a secret.

So, bite the bullet, mabye take them to dinner...either way, you need to make it a HAPPY occastion and not something that is a contentious issue.

Bottom line, they are either going to be really happy (and concerned..but that is always a parent's perogative)....upset (also their perogotive) or mad (their perogotive, but it really matters what happens AFTER they are mad that counts).

Alot also depends on the kind of relationship you have with your parents...and their opinion of your future husband.

I think the most cruical point to make is that you WANT to marry him but you are NOT going to rush into the event itself.

My xwife and i were engaged for 4 years. I promised my folks i'd finish college before i would actually have the ceremony.

You and he have to have that all setteld before you tell the parents. Make sure your other future plans are factored into your marriage plans - this will help your parents see you both as mature young adults and not just teenagers acting on a whim!

Keep us posted and good luck!

Oh, congratulations too!

[nursefluffykins]

i want a follow up on this story!...