How to kill the pain..

[dazedandconfused]

Ok...about 3 months ago my ex called it off to enjoy being single for a while. I didn't take that lightly, but I wanted her to be happy so I gave her space, and tried to remain friends. We haven't seen each other face to face since the break up. She'd call me on her breaks and talk about general bullshit, meanwhile inside I was noticing changes and that I was now talking to a stranger. But being the nice guy that I am, I kept it all in and tried to be her friend. Well...I went to her house for a party and she stole from me after I was asleep. I didn't make a big deal out of it because I wanted things to be okay between us. She made it clear that she was waiting for a guy to show up that night, and when he did I saw them make out. It hurt...it hurt real bad to watch that, and still I took it all and tried to be a nice guy and respect that she wanted time to "be crazy and have fun, not worrying about what a boyfriend would think". Well, after never seeing her and holding the friendship by the balls, struggling to make it work, I told her I can't talk to her anymore because she's changed too much and I can't deal with her. Since then I've heard rumors about her being a total slut with multiple guys (with expensive cars, and mommys checkbook, I might add) . I saw her 2 days ago at a local gas station in a convertible with her friend (female) and 2 guys (one of which ripped me off back in high school, I didn't do shit about it). Well...after not speaking to her in about 2 weeks, life was okay. I had moments of bliss when I didn't think of her, what could have been, what I should have done. Well, after I saw her at the gas station, she followed me multiple places, fake smiling the whole time. Wouldn't even look at me. I'm afraid if I see them again, those guys will pay for their sluts mistakes. I been a real good guy to her up until recently, and it's gotten me nowhere but shit on. Why the hell would she keep hurting me and making me miserable? I been nothing but good to her and she's totally changed now, has no respect for anyone, not even her family, or herself and she's rubbing it in my face the fact that she's with other guys, knowing that it makes me feel that the only chance of relief is a very sharp dagger through my chest. Anyone got any ideas on how I can end it all? I'm thinking about moving far away and starting out fresh.

[Rawbob]

Well, to answer your last question first, i'll ask YOU a question.

Do you think "running away" is really going to solve anything?

Probably not.

There's no doubt that shit like this really sucks. It hurts, you can't understand it rationally - and yet you try to.

Bottom line buddy, you just have to let go and move on - mentally and emotionally. Running from something that hurts never works...in fact it's worse because for many people they learn to run as opposed to just dealing with their feelings and moving on.

You cannot look at what she's doing and try to figure it out. You also can't assume that she's doing any of this to piss you off or hurt you directly. MOst people who act like she is, are doing it out of immaturity not revenge.

The best thing you can do is just work ONE DAY AT A TIME to get on with your life. Take a vacation, start a new hobby, join a club, go to diffrent clubs and/or restaurants to limit the amount of chances u might see her.

There's a big difference between separating and running. Just take yourself out of the position where u might see her.

On a final note, i'm not sure how old you are, but i can tell you with FULL CONFIDENCE, that she's NOT the only girl you'll ever love and in fact, you'll probably fall in love a few more times before you DO find your soulmate. So, take this as a learning experience, and start moving on!

Time DOES heal all wounds!

[oberon]

You want the best recipe for revenge that I can think of?

Forget about her, start making yourself happy. Do things that are fun. Go out with friends. Find someone special who will really make you forget about her.

Moving on with your life and being happy is the best thing for YOU and, for her, the end of her opportunity to make you miserable.

Take care.

[dazedandconfused]

Easier said than done. I spent a good 4 years of my life building a great bond with her. Now that we've dated it's gone. It's gonna be hard, but I guess I'll figure it out eventually.

[oberon]

That's why you need to find things to do. Fun things. The busier you are, the less time you have to dwell on her. And remember, for every minute you are in misery over her, she wins. (I don't know about you, but that would be enough to spur me into getting over her.)

[Skyby]

She is just being immature, and I agree with oberon, the best way to get revenge is to make yourself happy, people like that thrive on attention and she will be realy cut when she see's that you dont need her nor do you care, I know it is easier said than done but even if you just pretend that your happy when you see her, and ignore her, eventually you really WILL be happy and you will relaise how much you dont need that shit.... I am willing to bet that most people here have been through a similar experience, and if you need to vent about it, Im a good listener okay!