girlfriend losing interest?

[cloud087]

well me and my girlfriend have been having problems recently. she seems to be losing interest in me although she denys it. when we hang out she has nothing to say to me and she never initiates anythign physical (sexually or not). we have had a talk about her not showing any affection for me which she said she was going to work on and show affection. but i have seen no results yet. she claims our relationship is "boring", meaning nothing exciting happens its like the same thing all the time. now is it just me or am i wrong when i think that relationship are not always rainbows and butterflies and romantic gestures every single day? cause this is what my girlfriend seems to want and i just cant give it to her. she has NEVER said "i love you" to me once, and her response to this is "im not ready to say that" which confuses me because if your not in love in love with someone would you stay with them for a year and a half (which is how long we have been together)?

maybe im just over reacting about this whole thing, i dont know, but theres also another story that makes me think this way, which i will now explain

last summer, we had gone through a terrible breakup, and it was because of some other guy that she met. and she still brings him up in ways that she thinks i dont know she is. if htat makes sense. like she'll say stuff to her friends about him, like a code-name that they had for him or something, but i know all about this guy from her friends. and when she does this it makes me feel like complete crap, like ill never amount to what this guy was. to make a long story short, this guy left her out in the cold and ditched her, i cut her outta my life when she ended it last time, and the she came crawling back and i took her back. and here we are today, and i think history is going to repeat itself with this guy, because they work together at a camp, they will be seeing lots of eachothe and i think she still has feeligns for him, actually im positive she does.....should i be jealous or worried? i do trust her but things do happen.


my apologies if this makes no sense, but my heads a bit of a mess at the moment. but what i want to know is, what should i do? should i stick it out and see how things go, or should i end it and cut my losses and walk away with some dignity? any other advice, tips or whatever on how to fix things would be much appreciated.

thanks in advance

[girl12]

Ok first of all, you can love someone without being in love with them. You can stay with someone for 10 years and never be truly in love with them, but that doesn't mean you dont care for them, that doesn't mean you wouldnt do anything for them. There is a difference between being in love, and loving.

Second of all, the relationship seems to be going fastly down the drain. If she is getting bored and will not give you any tips on how to make it better, it sounds like this is going downhill. Maybe try something new, take her somewhere you haven't gone before, maybe organize something for her, i dunno.

About that other guy, this sounds a liiiiiiitttle bit sketchy. She brings him up in a code name with her friends and tries to hide this from you? Have you had an in depth conversation with her about this?

-Mariah

[LadyOfLucidDepths]

cut your losses.
i also agree with you something is going to come from them working, love just.. walk away... you will finda better relationship for yourself

[cloud087]

one thing id also like to add is that we still havnt had sex, and i was curious as to if this would put a strain on the relationship somehow. meaning we both want to have it, it just hasnt happend and we just kinda wait for the other to initiate it, but it never happend. and i think this may be the meaning of the "bordom" she spoke of, lemme know what u think

[LadyOfLucidDepths]

it could be it.. best to talk to her..
but i still say cut..your losses.

[Skyby]

I have to agree, sounds like you can do much better, and about her comments of being bored? its takes two to tango, if she is complaining about the relationship but not doing anything to try and improve it sounds ot me like she is not that interested.
in the words of Ben harper - its so hard to do, so easy to say, but sometimes you just have to walk away