overweight, confussed, and hurt

[star05]

I have been talking to this guy for a few weeks now. We "met" online, and seemed to hit it off pretty well. We exchanged pictures then decided to meet in person. It was awkward at first, but we ended up being really comfortable around each other--so much so that we had sex. We even got together the next day and had a repeat performance. (maybe I should add that he wasn't able to fully enjoy the experience, but assured me that it was great for him)

I know that I shouldn't have had sex on the first date, but please don't lecture me on that. I am very hurt and confussed right now. You see, I am overweight and he knew that BEFORE we met. During a conversation I told him that I thought he had a very sexy body--he told me that he isn't attracted to any part of my body other than my face. He later told me that he wasn't physically attracted to me, but proceded to mention us "getting together" again.

I am so hurt and confussed by his remarks. I don't understand how he could not be attracted to me and still want to have sex with me. Am I missing something?

[girl12]

Hi star.

First of all, the main question is, "are you confident with yourself and your body?" The way you speak about it I would guess not. The way that you feel about yourself really affects the way that other people feel about you as well. If you are not confident, what could you do to make yourself more confident? Diet maybe? Exercise? There is no use being sad about being over weight and then not doing anything about it. On the other hand, if you are happy with your body, screw this guy! (no pun intended.) I mean, this is a weird situation because he seems to still be attracted to you and accept you but....then again....he isn't. So, do you want to stay with this guy? Remember, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

-Mariah

[star05]

Thank you for your honesty. I am not very confident with my body to be honest. I have been trying to lose weight, but not as much as I should. I'm not sure how I feel about this guy. I mean, I like him, but we just met. I would definatly like to get to know him better. I just don't know where to go from here. Any suggestions?

[girl12]

Well, if you do not like the comments that he makes, tell him to stop making comments like that. I understand that you are confused and you want to get to know this guy better, so in that case, communicate with him about what your likes/dislikes are in a relationship.

Since you still want to see him, I would advise talking with him and making sure that he knows his boundaries. Communication is EXTREMELY important, if you can't communicate, the relationship will most likely not work out very well.


take care-Mariah

[pozzolane]

I say quit while you're ahead. I can tell you straight off if anyone ever said to me "Nothing about you is attractive except your face" then implied to go have sex, I'd tell them to go f**k themself. Clearly he is not confident either and all he now wants is sex. You'd be better off finding someone else to learn about.

You need a cuff up side the head! lots of people have low self confidence, but don't let others walk on you because of it. I have a sister that is exactly like this. Have some self respect! raise your standards! Don't bring in the trash, just leave it at the curb.

[LadyOfLucidDepths]

sorry... sounds like he is just using you for sex.. specially when he says.. he isnt attracted to you... but, likes your face..

[lilly2279]

He's a jerk. I would not try to get to know him or work anything out. To say something that rude is uncalled for. He's an a**hole. If you give him any more of your time, you will only feel even worse about yourself.

Yeah some guys can have sex with girls that they don't think are the most beautiful in the world. don't let him use you!

[Tessie]

I agree with all the posters above me. It sounds like he likes you well enough to sleep with you but not enough to care about you as a woman. Remember we teach people how to treat us. Kick him to the curb and find someone else. There is someone that will love you for just the way you are.