I think I know what to do, but then I do not

[SMPL17]

The last time I posted was about something positive, thank you all for who sent me your ideas. She was estatic when she got the present. A week or so ago she went on this vacation trip to alabama with some of her family to visit some of her family, on my birthday, a few days before she left, we had met up, and well lets just say the day went really well and she said she loved me so much and stuff. Well, she went on her vacation, I said my goodbyes and have funs before she left and such. About a week later she came back, and she was completly different around me. Wasn't even excited to see me, didn't do anything wrong to her before I left which just made me think wtf. I told her how her bro was rude to me the day she came back, when i tried to give her bro some note cards to give her when she gets home (note cards for an english paper she was doing, just being nice and all). Mind you, this was the day after she came back from vacation when when I talked to her. The next night when I called her she went all on the offence saying o how could I say that about her brother and just attacked me. Then she attacked ( attack i mean in as bitched and made me feel bad) me for saying her bro was rude w/me on the phone that monday night, saying she was awake and watching tv with her fam and her bro when i called and when her bro answered the phone. Her bro had said that night when i talked to him that she was sound asleep at the time, and said he was outside talking to someone else on the phone, acting like I rudely interupted. Thursday went... good I guess like nothing was wrong. It was frikin wierd, but I thought ehh maybe she was just stressed. Last night, I called her up. Everything seemed normal, then again she exploded from a misunderstanding of a message i left on her phone thursday night. Then she suddenly didnt want to see me till this tuesday, saying we need time apart. She more or less had called me a coward, and like all I wanted her was for physical crap which was totally not true at all. I calmed her down a bit, next thing I know she crying over her best friend that had started ignoring her last summer and hasnt talked to since. Supposdly only person she could be fully open to. Then she started talking about this other person she was fully open to at one time, and said she couldnt talk about it because it was a girl to girl thing. Supposidly another guy, i was thinking maybe her ex or something i do not really know i didnt tell her what i thought. She did say something that the long distance call that past wednesday was from a friend that was one of the closest to her ever. Problem is the only one she ever told me about lives in cleveland now, which isn't long distance. So that just leaves me in a jam of who exactly shes talking about. Everything she says points to her ex b/f. Everything was so great, but went so bad in like a matter of 10 sec 2 times this week. And now this! I am so lost, seriously last night she was about to end our relationship. I started crying on the phone a bit, she started feeling sorry and kicking herself for some of the things she said. She started acting like things will be back to normal by next tuesday. Like everything was peachy after all she had said and dont to me this past week. Don't know what to make of it all, or really what to do if too maybe hold on and see where the relationship comes to or bail ship because of her crazy mood swings. This is not her time of the month either, that and this all has put me in such a depressed non energetic mood. Love the girl, but after some of the painfull things she said I do not know if I should keep the relationship as is or just to be friends with her or just seperate completly.

[Artisan]

Confused people are confusing. She is probably as confused as you are.

You need to stop hanging on her sleeve and be a man. You need to have a life of your own. You can make some adjustments to your schedule to include her in. Don't plan your life around her.

Try this: Say to her on the phone that you've been thinking about your relationship but don't talk about it on the phone. If she asks you to come over, you are too tired today but SHE can come to your place tomorrow. (This makes her realize you are not her servant, you are a free man. And she'll be thinking about you alot.) Then you talk to her about her behavior and HER feelings. DON'T WHINE!

[SMPL17]

Yea, I talked to a few friends about it all. True it would be good to get down to every and any problem before really making a true decision on it. Every friend I talked to about this said we might just go to being friends or something. Most commented on that she just might be interested in another guy, and that it has nothing to do with how I have treated her. Sucks though, tryed to do everything right that I could in a relationship and still things might just come out to be this way.

[SMPL17]

Well as of now, things are a lot back to normal. My g/f got wierded out on stress from school and home and from some friends and w/one stupid thing bothering her on her mind, well lets just say she made a major mount everest out of a little dirt mound. We talked things over a bit ago, she was very sorry for how she was so mean to me and so hurtfull. Dunno, being the dammin too forgivin person i am forgivness was givin and in time things are healin. Helped her w/a few school things as of late, everything seems back to normal and even better than ever actually. Lot more playful round me .

[SMPL17]

Alright, well since the last post, things have gone once again sour. Last time she exploded over a a big misunderstanding, she said something about everytime i do *things w/her*, mind you not like sex but things close to it she says she feels, which i found odd, dirty like she sinned or something. I mean seriously when the moments came when we were so close she would do somethings for me, i'd do some for her. She seemed so happy afterwards, and everytime we were alone she would be all over me period. So that whole feeling dirty thing, well she made the first move sometimes so i wondered why did she even go that far w/me physically if she feels this dirty? Mind you all, we went quite far quite a few times. well, after all the fighting she just wanted things to go back to normal period w/us physical and emotional. She realized how much of a mistake she had made w/what she had said. We'll dumb me, not taking advice from a good reliable friend i forgave her, we went to a baseball game (had tons of fun too ), and this week she has been all over me. Yesterday we went to c a live comedian, we had the greatest time, after got some fast food and well we were sittin in the back of my car eatin it jokin round and well yea things got a bit physical again, but not to the point of losing virginity. After all was said and done, i took her home and we said our good byes and our love you's and everything was perfect. I left her a good message, telling her that i made it home safe and that i had a great night. A few min later, she sends me a text like i did something so badly wrong, and that she cant forgive me a third time and that we need to talk monday about us. I was like wtf, confused as heck because of how much of a great night we had and we left on dam good terms. Come to find, I call her today, we only talked for a few she "had to go" for what reason i have no clue. I asked her to explain her text, it was not really that clear on what i had done wrong. For some reason she felt dirty that night for ever getting any bit physical the night before w/me. Heck, shes been physical w/other guys she has been with before me, so what i do not understand is why does she feel dirty w/me! Personally, I am thinkin i am just going to talk to her monday deeply about this crud and i might just break up because i have many classes i have start studying for so i can ace the finals in a few weeks. But then I just feel so bad if I do, everything before this month has been great and now her like this and I do not understand. I feel for her, but also my school is important for as A's equal scholorship money and my p/t job gets me the gas in my tank to get me to my college every day. I just wonder, should I break up w/her and just be friends, should I try to work things out and see where they go? I just don't know if I can take the emotional lashing this relationship is doing to my heart right now.

[SMPL17]

Alright, well it's nice to know either A. my situation is to complex to understand or B. no one gives a rats about a question from me.

[demonbuttercup]

sry SMP
I think you should just focus on school and give her some space.
I too would be totally confused if everything seemed to be going totally great and then she's all, I feel dirty, even when she sometimes initiates the contact.
I would probably just avoid trying to let things get to hott and heavy when I am with her and see what happens. That way there can't possibly anything for her to get mad at you about.
Before doing that tho, I would totally talk to her and ask her why she is saying these things and why she's sending mixed messages??
How are you supposed to know how far she wants to go if one minute she's all over you and the next she says its dirty.

[girl12]

I agree with Demon.

This girl sounds like she cannot make up her mind. It's like she tries to change things but can't do it. And then she blames it on you. She might be taking out her guilt on you? I dunno.

Focus on school, break up with her for the time being.

-mariah

[demonbuttercup]

Good point mariah
she probably feels guilty about it and instead of blaming herself for letting things go a certain distance... she just blames it all on you. Which totally isn't fair. It takes two to tango.
There has been times Ive let myself get carried away but in the end I wouldn't blame the guy, except for being too damn hott, lol.
Kidding aside, I'd give it some time and space.