I need advice!

[sarah2004]

I have a boyfriend and we have been only dating for about 6 days, almost a week and the first night he was with me at my house watching a movie together he wanted to have sex with me and we have dated in the past, but the relationships haven't ended well and he in the past had problems with drugs and such and did something stupid.He broke into my local high school to steal money and snacks out of a vending machine-yeah I know. Stupid crime and got arrested for it and well he's out now and has claimed to me that he is changing his ways and wants to be with me. He gave me this really sweet letter telling me how he felt and I would have sex with him, but I have some doubts. I remember hearing that he was really sexually active and told a friend that, and he cheated on me and lied to me. He was the first guy I ever had feelings for and if he really means what he said in that letter then he does deserve another chance. Should I give up myself to him if I am feeling ready or is he just moving too fast and using me?

[oberon]

I'd say if you are having doubts, then don't. There is nothing wrong with waiting a while. If he is unwilling to do that, then I guess you have your answer about what he's really after.

Take care.

[WallyLlama]

Deserving a second chance and having sex don't equate - don't think you have to prove he's getting a second chance by having sex with him.

Look past the sexual issue to see if he is really changing his ways before you invest too much emotionally or physically.

If he's not changing his ways, then he's trying to steal from you.

You should be suspcious. Date him, treat him well, but keep your eyes open.

[sarah2004]

Thank you both so much for your opinions and i will give that some thought.maybe i will even talk to him about it and see what he says.I don't wanna give up my virginity too soon and i want it to be the right person, so i will wait till i feel sure with him, if i do and then maybe later after a few more months discuss it again and see how we both feel.

[soulmates82]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (sarah2004 @ Mar. 16 2005,20:15)]....maybe i will even talk to him about it and see what he says....
.... maybe later after a few more months discuss it again and see how we both feel.

with out trying to sound like the ol fuddyduddy i am, cuz even tho im not sure how old either of you are i know i am old enough to be mom to either of yu and perhaps close to grandma age it makes no matter if i was you age cuz this issue is ages old and your grandkids will someday wonder the same things.
there is an ol saying regarding whether or not to eat food that might be spoiled. saying goes: "when in doubt, throw it out." now your wondering whats this got to do with anything. it comes down to this, you sometmes have to make decisions by relying on what your gut instincts tell you. sometimes your hunch is right, sometimes you make the wrong call. when in doubt, safest thing is to error on the side of caution and dont take the risk. if you yourself are not 100 percent convinced things will work out in your favor, dont go any further into the matter, get out before its too late. like if yur a so so swimmer. you think you can make it out to the raft.... you THINK you can? must mean yu are not 100 percent positve yu can so best not start swimming out that far cuz 1/2 way there is too late to find out you cant.
virginity is a precious posession you should hold on to until you are 100 percent sure the person you give it to will hold you and the gift to be true treasure that you and your virginity are.
dont talk things over with him. think things thru yourself. listen to your conscience and let it be your guide. dont let anyone talk you into someting you arent already convinced yourself you want to.

[sarah2004]

Thank you also soulmates82 for your advice.I appreciate it and i will give that topic more of a clear thought. Your right,i don't want to just give it up to anyone and the person i feel ready to do it with i have to be sure of. By the way i'm 19 and my boyfriend here in a couple days is about to turn 22.

[Metalixia]

When there's doubt, there is no doubt.