what will he like better?

[Joie]

I'm 20 i've only have one sexual relationship which ended about 2 months ago. i'm not that sexually experienced as i only started sleeping with him for the last 2 months i was with him. I'm now seeing someone new and altho i'm nervous i want to sleep with him soon. i don't know what is best to do... Tell him that i am not very expereinced and i really don't know what to do or try and be confident for him and not say i'm inexpereinced.
loads of my friends tell me that men want a girl to be confident in bed but its kinda hard to do if you've not done it much!
guys and girls perpectives would be helpful please. xx

[demonbuttercup]

I think you should be totally honest. Especially if you decide to discuss how many sexual partners you guys had prior to eachother.
I don't think you should lie to him....not about something like this.
Otherwise, he's gonna think you are "wild and crazy in the sack", then you get there and you are all fumbly...then he'll know something is up.
Not ALL guys necessarily want a girl who is very very experienced...lol.. wink wink.
There is a difference in being confident and experienced. You can still be confident but not really know what you are doing lol.
Just be yourself, let him know you are still kinda new to things and to take it slow. You can learn from him, and it will be fun.

[Joie]

Yeah i suppose so! thanks for your reply! most guys i know all say they would rather have an experienced girl anyday, they don't care if shes slept with loadsa men. makes me think that guys don't really appreciate good clean girls anymore lol!

i guess what i lack in experience i make up for in enthusiasm!

[demonbuttercup]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (Joie @ Mar. 08 2005,13:40)]i guess what i lack in experience i make up for in enthusiasm! *

Exactly!!
Keep that mind set and you'll do fine

[soulmates82]

why say anything one way or the other? its a new partner you are begining a new relationship with. neither of you have experience with each other. what his last gf liked or disliked, thats her, you are you.
just pretend the guy youre with now will be your 6th sex partner. well funny little story i can add and from my own personal experience,
not one of my numbers 1,2,3,4 or 5 gave me experience of knowing what to do when number 6 mentioned he liked his balls carressed. HU??? BALLS???? i know where a guys balls are, i sure dont have a clue how hard or soft to touch or squeeze or what am i supose to do????? 5 guys worth of prior experience (did i mention i was married to and divorced from number 5) started having sex at age 15 and 5 partners and 9 years experience i was a 24 year old divorcee with no experience handling a mans balls.
whats experience got to do with this guy again?
my hubby here gained experience prior to my time in giving a gal oral pleasures. im sure it all worked fine between him and them. few tricks i taught him and now he tickles MY fancy. his style touches me just the way i like to be touched.
if i can type for my hubby here with regard to guys liking a gal with 'experience" - not saying all guys think one way or the other and since times have changed how folks view this topic now as opposed to his being 54 - guys will of course appreciate having sex with a gal who does more than just lay still. just as a gal enjoys a guy who knows to do more than hop on, hump, cum and run. that doesnt necessarily mean a guy wants a gal all his friends have had part in giving her her experience. it has a lot to do with the amount of respect the gal has for herself. whichever way this guy or the next guy sees a gal is as individual as the man himself. YOU have to follow your own conscience and live your life as you see fit. stay celabate until your wedding night or sleep with each guy you get a chance to sleep with, choice is up to you. you be the person you desire and all will naturally follow and you will attract the kind of guys who find your type quite desirable.
id like to suggest searching around the forum here for pro and con views about telling and/or asking details of past partners. touchy subject, strong debates both sides so no easy or safe way to answer. no one will argue that it is ABSOLUTELY necessary for you to make sure each new partner be tested for stds and that YOU always practic safe sex.
relax and enjoy getting to know new guy and explore each other and learn new things .... no shame in knowing what you know and no shame in not knowing it all.

[Joie]

thanks for your reply! i think following your conscience is a good point. I have a lot of friends who will sleep with guys they have just met and sometimes i wish that i could bring myself to do that, to gain experience. Thing is i know myself too well - i'll just feel used and dirty and wish i had never done what i didn't want to do to begin with. so i have now decided to follow what my head says and find someone nice. which is f**kin hard i mite add! but the guy i have started seein seems really nice. I know he has had a lot of sexual partners tho, i just can't help worrying he'll get bored of me not knowing what to do all the time and havin to explain how to do things. i know i should just chill out and relax about it but he's probably had so many people that are better than me and it already mkes me feel like a bit of a loser.

[nathanoj1984]

I wouldn't get so worked up about it. *I'll admit Im far from an expert on the subject. *But when I lost my virginity at 19, and having had liturally no and I mean no (from kissing up or down if you look at it that way) experience with girls, I was honest with my girlfriend and I felt a lot more comfortable with it out of the way, knowing I was accepted for who I was.

If he's aware of your experience he'll probably be more accomodating for it, and you may learn a few things he may have expected you to know otherwise. *And the key thing is everyone is different, so experience helps, but its communication and experimentation with your partner that will really get you to find out what stimulates each other best. Being explained what feels good for him is always infinitely better than being dumped because you felt to nervous to ask.

Thats my opinion, others may see it differently and Im aware your situation is obviouslly different from my experience. *But personally if I was in your shoes Id prefer to be honest from the start, then you know you'll be liked for who you are.

[WallyLlama]

One guy's perspective:

I could care less about your experience. I know people who brag about having 20 years experience. What they don't tell you is that it's the same year 20 times.

What I care about is attitude...

I want you to be relaxed with me (well, at least to start LOL) and not worry... to know that our experience together is just that: an exploration of each other and the "us" sexually. Because we've never been together it's new and it's fresh and it's exciting.

Know that I am just as nervous as you. Even if I've had a 100 women, I've never been with you and you are unique.

We will discover each other. As we journey together we'll be attentive to each other, making sure we are simply seeking pleasure together, not proving how "good" we are in bed.

If we seek well and pay attention, we WILL be more than good.

[finewine]

Wally, have you been easedropping in on my heart?
You said the exact same thing I thought I had said in an earlier post but seems I forgot to press the add reply button.

and you said it so much better than I.

Attitude. It is all about attitude and discovering each other for the first time.

To get caught up in the "what if I'm not good enough" thoughts will only inhibit the experience.

To have the attitude of confidence, just research what men like and visualize it in your mind and let your imagination take your bodies wherever it may go as the night unfolds. Listen and observe his body language
and then just let your femininity take reign wanting to please him and just respond to his leading with your own leading.

You do not have to have alot of experience to please.. it is the attitude that pleases.

[Joie]

me and my new guy have just had a really nice evening and talked about takin things further. i told him i wasn't experienced and he reasured me he didn't mind. I feel really comfortable with him now, so much so i'm not nervous about sleeping with him for the first time, in fact i can't wait! plus i don't feel stupid anymore wen i need to ask him for tips on how to please him - its much better knowing you doin something the way he likes it rather than fumbling around!! lots more confident now!

thank you guys so much for your wise words! very much appreciated! xxx