Still not over his ex?

[refinnej]

I've been seeing this guy for a few months and when we first starting dating he told me a lot about his past. Less than a year ago his girlfriend of like 6-7 years left him for someone else and it hurt him SO much. He had planned on marrying this girl, and he told me he thought he was going to spend the rest of his life with her. She calls him asking for forgiveness but he says that it is over for good. He told me he would cry everynight the first month or so they broke up. He also said that he still sometimes cries at night.

So, because i feel he is still not over his ex (which he says he is) it is going to hurt our relationship.

Any advice? Thanks!

[iamawesum69420]

It sounds like he's still hurting. This doesn't mean he's going to get back together with her though. It was a really long relationship so it's going to take some time to get over. How long has it been since they've been broken up?

[refinnej]

Not sure on the exact length of time since they broke up, but my guess is like 7-8 months ago.

I do realize its going to take a long time for him to get over her. And i tell him that if he wants to talk about to go ahead. I'm not going to be like "your still not over her?!?! F U!!"

I just dont want it to hurt our relationship.

No, he said things are over w/ her for good and that he will never go back w/ her.

I guess the thing im thinking about in our relationship is the fact that i am totally falling for him but i don't know if he is the same way. Like, feel he might be but i also feel that he is really scared to get into a serious relationship (which is what i want). I've told him over and over that he can trust me, and that i would NEVER cheat on him because thats not me. Of course im going to talk to him more about it, i've just not had the chance, yet. (but i will do it VERY soon).

[iamawesum69420]

Well just take things slow with him. It might scare him to jump right into another serious relationship. After a break up like that I can see why. And just remember communication is key. Talk to him about how you're feeling and ask him what he's feeling and how he feels about your relationhip. Always keep the lines of communication open.

[yetagainsorrows]

Men are silly creatures, each one different and in some way the same. Just remember how you feel after leaving a relationship and treat him with the same patience and respect you'd like.

[noon]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (yetagainsorrows @ Feb. 21 2005,00:29)]Men are silly creatures, each one different and in some way the same. Just remember how you feel after leaving a relationship and treat him with the same patience and respect you'd like.

Well said. I agree that respect and patience similar to what you'd like is a good idea.

[mjv154]

My g/f and I of about 5 years broke up about 10 months ago. I can tell you that it is only now that I am even starting to begin to want to really date other people.

When someone is part of your life for that long there is almost a guarentee that that person will in your thoughts, someway or another, for the rest of your days.

Use your judgment. If he is ALWAYS talking about her, and babbling about what happened constantly he may not have really dealt with everything that is going on. It is normal to that she be talked about though; the last 7 years had her in everything he did.

My advise is be supportive of him. If he isn't over her, then you may need to just be an emotional crutch for him. Good relationships grow from people who have trust and compansion for one another. Treat him is with kind of respect and you can't go wrong - relationship or not.