Sex too Soon

[iamawesum69420]

I got the idea for this topic after just reading another post.

Does having sex right away ruin the chances for a potential relationship?

I've found that in my current relationship that it didn't have that affect but I'm thinking that maybe in the past this may have happened.

I've been told by some people that it's almost impossbile to have a relationship with someone if you have sex with them right off the bat but I don't consider this true and I'd like some more opinions.

[JustTrying2BeAGOODBoyfriend]

Ummm, well that may be true but, sex, in my opinion/experiences, has actually ruined an already healthy and well-developed relationship, unfortunately she doesn't know it...
The only reason i am staying with my current g/f, the one i was having a tissy about "sharing" is because now i feel obligated to stay with her now that i have had her, i try to tell her that its kinda ruined my feelings for her, by saying things like "i regret it" and the other 101 things subliminally saying, i want to break it off, cause quite honestly i had sex with her before i really go to know her, now i see she has problems with her family, particularly her dad, RED FLAG, and i want no part in it, but i just cant break her off, i mean what would my parents think, what would her mom think, i dont like casting a bad shadow behind me to other people... but i do feel tied down and that i have no control over who i am going to spend my the rest of my life with...

[iamawesum69420]

Well you should never feel "tied down" to someone. You should be with someone because you WANT to be with them. I suggest you break it off with her now before it gets any worse.

[JustTrying2BeAGOODBoyfriend]

Thats the hard part,i fear that me breaking up with her will utterly destroy her, if you know what i mean... i cant have that on my concious, her lifes pretty, well not that messed up, but shes emotional, like to extreme, thats why i fear it will like kill her or something i dunno, i cant just break it off i got to gradually grind the ties down, but i just dont want to "create" a problem... i need a counselor...lol

[iamawesum69420]

Well you're not making it any better for her by keeping up this charade. You need to just end it now. Believe me you and every other guy out there (despite what many may think) can be forgotten or at least able to get over. If she's as attached to you as you say it will definately take some time but she'll be able to get over you.

[demonbuttercup]

Yeah but sometimes you have to just do what is best for both of you in the long run. Besides, not to be mean, but also, you need to get over the fact of "oh if I dump her..she will just die!"
I mean do you really think you are that special/important/life sustaining?? whatever you want to call it.
Like I said, Im not saying it to be mean, just realistic...ya know?
I know when people break up it feels like the end of the world, but the majority of the time, people are able to pick up the pieces and move on. As the wise Oberon usually says, I belive, don't quote me on it...lol.
But he says you should never make yourself souley responsible for other people's happiness. You have to make yourself happy. Then you can help make other people happy.
Hope this doesn't come across as harsh... just more sarcasm if anything lol

[iamawesum69420]

Well I know I'm not the one you're speaking to or about but I don't think it was too harsh and I agree with you. Why do so many guys think they're so hard to get over? I'm also not trying to be mean but it just seems like guys can be so arrogant.

[demonbuttercup]

Yeah arrogant, lol.
thats a good word. Didn't think of that one, lol.
Thought of everything else tho.

[thetease13]

Back on the original topic... I think in some cases it can hurt, but in some cases it doesn't.

Me and my guy, we have a fairly strong sexual attraction. I mean yes, there is other attractions, but one of the main things is the sexual attraction.
After he first admitted to finding me attractive, 3 days later we were on the phone and I was talking about guys in my past and how I'd never done anything (anything period. not even a kiss. lol.) and how he'd pretty much like to be the person to fix that.

And throughout the week we talked and by the end week, when we were gonna see each other again, we took the first step and I let him play with my boob. Yea, it sounds stupid, but that's how it began. lol.
And then the neck kissing started and week after week, we did different things and it all eventually lead to him being my first, which is something I definately do not regret.

And it's pretty much been a year and a half since all that began and while we do have our ups and downs, we're still "together" so to speak... if that's possible for two people that really aren't together, but are. lol.

So anyways, while we didn't have sex right off, the sexual attraction and tension was there from pretty much the start. I wasn't exactly going to just hop into the sac with him since I was a virgin so I needed some thinking time. But after a month and a half of like doing smaller things, I knew that I wanted him to be my first and a few weeks later I admitted that to him and a couple months after that, when time allowed us, it happened.

And I'll stop rambling now as I'm not sure what I said really helped.

[iamawesum69420]

I'm glad we've gotten back to the original topic. We kinda got offtrack there for awhile but anyway...

The reason I brought this up is from a past experience. I met this guy and there was immediate sexual tension so it wasn't long before we were in the back of his ford explorer getting down to business so to speak. Well we hooked up a few more times and that was the only reason we would see each other. We would talk a bit online and on the phone but every time we would see each other in person it was to have sex. Well he ended up telling me that we could never be in a relationship and I was wondering if maybe I ruined things by having sex with him too quickly or maybe it just wasn't meant to be because I had discussed it with some friends of mine and they said we should've held off on having sex and it would've been possible for a relationship with him if I would've waited and/or made him wait.

Well with my current boyfriend we didn't have sex but didn't everything but on the day we met and our relationship is great. The only thing really different is we met through a mutual friend and had a lot of conversations on the phone and online before we actually met so this may have something to do with it. I just wanted to get some other opinions on the subject.