past partners, disease

[nursebear]

So I have been with the same guy for 7.5 years....we have not been together for about 2years now. We did have sex several times after split but it has been almost a year since last time. My question is I am new to dating really he was the 2nd guy I was ever with and the first can barely remember. How do you ask how many partners they have had? and when do you ask? I guess I dont want any disease etc. and yes I know use condoms BUT there is always chance of somethign going wrong and if this is someone I want to spend forever with then what?? don't want to use condoms when i am ready for kids :-) HOpe this makes sense.
thanks for any help

[WallyLlama]

Your concern makes sense, although I'm not sure I fully understand your situation.

One problem with STD's is the amount of myths and misinformation out there. I'd encourage you to get some credible information on the subject. Be cautious of your source - you want medical information, not opinion.

How many partners a person has had in the past is actually less important than how "safe" the sex has been. I would be less inclined to ask a person's sexual history and more inclined to find out how much they know about risks and how to avoid disease.

By getting solid information you'll be in a good position to discuss the sexual health topic with a partner and you'll learn fairly quickly whether or not he is a good "risk." All sex, even protected "safe" sex carries some risk with it.

In this case, knowledge IS power.

[Rawbob]

Hi Nurse, and welcome to the board.

Wally's right on track on his comments...and i'll add a few thoughts of my own.

STD prevention begins with YOU! It sounds self-evident, but really, if STD's are important to you, then you should let any potential partner know that.

There are many folks who insist on seeing a recent HIV/blood tests. As Wally said, it's not so much about the NUMBER of partners as how safe the sex was.

Now, you also need to spend some time educating yoruself on STD's....from herpes, to HIV, to HEP C, to Clamidia, to the two long-time STD's Syphillis/Gohnorhea!

No matter how u look at it, the only true way to avoid ANY std's is to NOT have unprotected sex of any kind with anyone till you know the are and have been monogamous for at least 3-4 months!

Again, if that's important to you, then u need to let potential boyfriends know that right up front.

Remember this also, there is no "safe sex" ..there is only SAFER SEX...sexual interaction of anykind has some level of risk......heck, you can get herpes just from kissing! So, you just have to know the risks upfront and make educated decisions.

HOpe this helps!