To move on? ... and how?

[Pelezo]

Well,

I'm in a situation again...

Alright, the rundown.

I'm 17 and have been dating my 16 year old girlfriend for almost a year and a half now.

It was great the first six months until I found out she lied a lot to me about stupid things but I put that aside and chugged on.

Now, we are very sexual but I've been finding my self not wanting to have sex anymore, it seems as a task more than enjoyment. We went from having sex 1-8 (My record) times a day to 1-2 times a week. Every time I see her a fight occurs and someone goes home in a pissed off mood.

Now, I don't know if I should break up with her because obviously I'm not happy with her anymore or she's not happy with me anymore and does things to try and get me to break up with her.

I go to anger management/shrink and my shrink is always telling me there are more girls out there but every time I go to break up with her I can't find the strength to do it because I think about being lonely, I see her crying, and then I say "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, I don't know what I was thinking".

On to my second situation, I've been working at my new job for about a month now. I'm a supervisor at the Local Car Wash and there's a secretary that works there and she's 18. She's good looking, pretty much has the perfect body and is really funny and smart (she's in calculus and college, I dropped out...show a difference there?). I think she likes me because she'll just start talking to me out of no where and talk with me and she likes to bend all the way over to get tape for the tickets for me but for the other guys she gets another person to get it (weird?).

I can't tell if she's flirting or just being nice but she's definitely someone that looks like she'd be interesting to date to see what she’s like and maybe something would progress further but I'm afraid I'll get into another bind like the relationship I'm in.

Should I write my girlfriend an email? That'd be about the only way I could do it without breaking down.

HELP!

Thanks,
Eric

[vagabondprince]

no dude, an email is the lamest way to break up with anyone. i'd recommend sucking it up and just telling her it's over. you should give her the respect of telling her to her face. that's always been my idea when breaking up.

About the girl at your job....first, i was wondering if this job for you is like a long term employment or just a temporary job. Since you were talking about being a dropout, i'd guess it's a little more long term. In that case i'd suggest not trying to date her. it's what is called fraternization, and personal relations can really get in the way of professional relations in those cases. but really it's up to you and you just need to make sure you consider the consequences.

[Pelezo]

Well,

I was on the phone with her and she pissed me off for the last time..

Me: Hey
Her: Hey, let me tell you about something I did earlier today
Me: You're not even worried about the biggest fight we've ever had last night?
Her: Yeah..
Me: No, you're not, you don't even sound concerned your in a happy mood and most people would be depressed. What do you want to do about the whole situation?
Her: I don't know, it's obvious that you want to break up with me?
Me: You leave me no choice, you've lied to me, turned stuff around on me, you're mad at the world, at your family and everyone else.

After a few more lines...

Me: So what do YOU want to do?
Her: You want to break up with me...
Me: See there you go again, I can't deal with this crap anymore, until you fix your problems we're broken up, if you ever do then call me ok?
Her: Ok
Me: Bye
Her: Bye

Phone, I didn't intend to break up with her over the phone either...

[thetease13]

I'll get yelled at for this but whatever.

By your phone conversation post, you just liked shoved that on top of her.

It seems to me that she was trying to move on from the fight, as most people like to, rather than dwell on it and you just got on her case, not once, but twice about it.

She responds to your question and says you want to break up with me and you go off on her for that.

She may have her issues that some of us don't know about, but I think you have a few of your own that you seriously need to work out with with your shrink or whatever you want to call him/her.

And you know what?
People lie. People lie all the time. And a lot of the times it's about stupid things. I'm sure you've done it to her. And if you shrugged her stupid lies off after 6 months, why is it suddenly a big huge deal a year later?
If they were that big of a deal, as they apparently are now, you wouldn't have still been with her. I personally think you were just looking for things to throw at her while trying to break up with her.

[Pelezo]

Well,

You're right, I called and apologized for being an asshole about it all and we both are going to work with each other on problems on what not and work it out.

Thanks,
Eric M. Pelezo

[vagabondprince]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (thetease13 @ Dec. 19 2004,14:12)]And you know what?
People lie. *People lie all the time. *And a lot of the times it's about stupid things. *I'm sure you've done it to her. *And if you shrugged her stupid lies off after 6 months, why is it suddenly a big huge deal a year later?
If they were that big of a deal, as they apparently are now, you wouldn't have still been with her. *I personally think you were just looking for things to throw at her while trying to break up with her.

well, first on the quote. Lying for some people is a big thing. my girlfriend broke up with me on the premise that i lied to her. it wasn't even a lie really, it was just not telling all of the truth all at the same time (even though i did tell it all and had intended to the whole time). so sometimes it can be a big thing. Not necessarily in this case, but often enough it is

about the girl. it sounds like she doesn't know what she wants. and that could be part of the problem with the relationship for you. but it doesn't sound like she necessarily wants to break up with you, especially since she was trying to move on and mend things after a big fight.

and finally, about pelezo. i'd suggest you take a break from this relationship. talk things over with the girl and mend any bad blood, but don't get back together just yet. and i'd also suggest not trying to get together with anyone at the moment. just experience and remember what it feels like not to have your girlfriend, and you may appreciate her more if you two ever get back together.

[thetease13]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (vagabondprince @ Dec. 20 2004,17:45)]Lying for some people is a big thing. my girlfriend broke up with me on the premise that i lied to her. it wasn't even a lie really, it was just not telling all of the truth all at the same time (even though i did tell it all and had intended to the whole time). so sometimes it can be a big thing. Not necessarily in this case, but often enough it is

I asked why it was a huge deal a year later.
He shrugged it off the first time, then suddenly a year later it was this huge deal.

That to me just says he was just trying to come up with things to say to her while trying to break up with her.
Like lets make a huge deal out of something that was nothing a year ago.

[monie]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (thetease13 @ Dec. 21 2004,00:03)]

I asked why it was a huge deal a year later.
He shrugged it off the first time, then suddenly a year later it was this huge deal.

That to me just says he was just trying to come up with things to say to her while trying to break up with her.
Like lets make a huge deal out of something that was nothing a year ago.

Thats called "gunnysacking"... storing up greivances for a long period of time and then dumping them on someone at an innapropriate time...

Sorry, damn finals getting to me... at least they ended today... now i need sleeeep... lol

[Pelezo]

Did I mention I'll be enlisting in the Air Force soon? I believe that's the reason why I've been acting a fool lately because a lot of people are telling me to break up with her when I don't want to.

[vagabondprince]

if you don't want to break up with your current girlfriend, why are you considering getting together with the girl you work with?