Confused and frustrated…help!

[refinnej]

To make a long story short…

I met this guy the first part of November; we did have sex a little too soon into the relationship (no, not on the first date…) he tells me online that he really likes me and wants to start a serious relationship with me, yet ever since then I’ve not seen him in person and that’s been almost 4 weeks ago. I’ve only talked to him on the phone maybe twice since the last time we talked. He has been busy, and now he is working different hours. I want to call him to see how he is and what’s up and set up a date or something, but I feel if I call to often I’ll scare him away. He has not really made the effort in calling me, and asks online if I am trying to avoid him because I haven’t called. Like I said, I don’t want to be calling, emailing him or sending him an instant message every day or every other day…it might scare him off. And I really don’t want that. I’m so confused, and I’ve become very frustrated about all of this. Is he trying to ignore me or is he just waiting for me to make the next move (even though he said he would call me like 3 times now and hasn’t).

[camman]

mabey hes shy???
But if hes not then he is not trying to get somthing serious.
I think u calling can only help matters. If he doesnt want u then he might say " ur too clingy" but that would mean he didnt want u and hes using a excuse that would have ended for another reason.
Anyhows i would call if i were u .
And good luck!

[vagabondprince]

if he's asking if you're trying to avoid him, maybe he's under the impression you should call him. You're probably right about it not being serious though because he would have put a little more effort into it if he was taking it really seriously.

[demonbuttercup]

I think you should call him. You don't have to everyday but at least every few days or something.
He probably is feeling/thinking the same things you are. He's probably like, I want to call her but I don't want to seem to aggressive. Why isn't she calling me? Is she avoiding me? Should I call her? Will she think Im an idiot for calling her? lol

If I were you I'd just call and ask him out for another date or whatever. At least see eachother and hang out. I mean what's worse? Wondering if he'll reject you or showing him so little attention that he thinks you aren't interested and just moves on?

[WallyLlama]

As one of those people who way too often let time slip by... ("Omigod, it's been x days and I haven't called so & so.&quot I'd say there's a good chance he'll be relieved if you take action.

In two words, call him.

There is nothing wrong with you taking some responsibility for the relationship. Right now you're making him totally responsible and you haven't even told him the rules.

Here's a script:

"Hi... I haven't been calling because I didn't want to be a pain... but I do know you're busy, so I'm gonna start. If I call too often or become a nag, you have to tell me, okay?"

It's that simple.

[refinnej]

so, it has been a few months since i posted this...i never talked to that guy again. Good thing, i guess. Because not a month later i met someone GREAT!

so its all good now

[iamawesum69420]

Good to hear that everything worked out for you.

[yetagainsorrows]

See life will work it self out when you least expect it. Hope this one is a keeper, at least for fun while it lasts...