Changing a "wandering" guy

[Poetic Skye]

I hear many stories about guys who were generally a one woman man at an earlier point in their life, who got their heart broken and then became what I call a "body hopper"- which is a person who has sex with lots of people, never getting into relationships. I found this topic interesting since I am currently interested in this type of guy. I don't attempt to be with him seriously because I'm aware that it could be pointless and doomed from the start, but we are good friends (with benefits) and that's fine with me. He's a nice guy, despite his sex addiction. My questions for the guys who were once like this are did you ever finally come across the one woman that changed your ways as far as going from woman to woman goes? And if so, what about her changed you?

[vagabondprince]

I just recently broke up with a girl i was dating for over a year, and if it weren't for interest in a good friend of mine, i might be trying to live it up right now and go from girl to girl. but as i didn't completely get driven to doing that i really don't have much to contribute.

[camman]

i just broke up with a girl who i was goin out with for a year and a half. I am in that kind of " body hopper" stage u said.
Yea so i wanted to say i really wouldnt commit to someone besides my ex right now. And if he feels like me i would wacth out. Dont put ur self too out there until he makes a move to mean somthing to u. I mean to be somthing besides " sex buddies".
I am not saying dont mess around , Just be careful to to invest to much emotions right away, becuse even if hes a really great guy , hes in a bad positionand he might hurt u and not mean too.
Anyhows good luck!

[Poetic Skye]

Thanks camman, your advice was definitely neccessary. I'm not sure what to do about this guy because I don't exactly have the choice, but I'll be smart about it and not get in too deep with him. Unfortunately I didn't expect to have the relationship I have with him where we can conversate about anything, and be honest with each other. He's such a slut, sometimes a lot for me to handle. I am emotionally involved with him to some extent because I'm just drawn to him and affected by him. For some reason I have chosen to help him find a hot nice Jewish girl for him to potentially marry one day. Why? I have no idea. I think it's my way of trying to push him further away from me, but at the same time for him to know that I care by my efforts to help him, who knows? Anyway, any nice jewish girls out there who'd like a 23 yr. old pretty guy let me know. It's 4 my friend.

[camman]

i am not totally sure but it sounds like a good idea.
I supose one day i will be out of this slump , and i guess he may too one day. If u stay "close" but not intamte it will be good. Not being able to commit to u will also reflect to the " nice jewish" girls hell meet. If hes not ready to commit hes not. And when he getts out of this slump hell know u care for him.
And if he did like u i bet it would be good.
I am a young man so dont take to much of my words to heart . I am just trying to help. I dont want to rasie ur hopes just to crush them later. I wish ya luck.
Oh yea if he is to come out of the slump i dont think it would be anytime too soon . sry.
Yea 1 more thing, thanks for tellin people when they say something that helps cuse it makes us happy to know we are being listened to.
Anyhows good luck!

[Poetic Skye]

Well Okay, here's the thing- I stopped bothering to even help him find someone. Instead I got in touch with my hidden feelings for him, and realized I couldn't hold it in anymore so I told him how I felt and he was really cool about it. It also kinda made it easier for him since he told me he already knew I liked him anyway. Either way now we're closer on some level, he doesn't even want to take advantage of me by having sex with me, which really wouldn't be taking advantage of me because I'd let him. He's good to me. It's so cute how we are with each other. We call each "bitch" out of love. He's coming over on his birthday and I feel special because I get to have him on his b-day, it feels more like a present to me. I have this feeling that I'm wearing him down and getting closer to his heart because he'd never come to a girl's house for just a BJ, and on top of that we live in different towns and in the past he would not even consider it, but this time he's the one who brought it up. Ok, so yeah I'm gonna give him a BJ, it's no big deal for me because I like him, and I plan on showing him how I feel by being more affectionate, which in the past was hard for me because I'm a shy girl. So I'm telling myself to be brave and make the first move for once, hoping that my kiss and my touch with linger on for him. And my room is gonna look so romantic because I'm buying a red light bulb and a green light bulb to light up the room, and maybe some music. I figured he's worth going through all of this because he's the first guy in years to make me happy.

[Poetic Skye]

Oh by the way, thanks camman and all the previous for the advice, keep it coming if u'd like. I'm trying to be smart about the choices I make with this guy, and I am a smart girl, but this guy has taken any bit of common sense I have because of my feelings. So I'm just dealing with it and trying to make the best decisions that I won't regret later.

[camman]

hey it sounds like it is turning out well. If he called u and is doing something he normally doesnt then i would think its a good sign. Getting out of helping him find a girl probably helped it move faster.

I dont know how old you are or how much exsperiance u have had , but i know alot of people will have trouble getting a guy off by a blowjob. I dont know if it will be a problem for u or not ... i just dont want an unexspected thing to mess up a night for u.

There is a bunch of posts here dedicated to this topic. Once again not saying u cant do it to him but looking out for ya

Good luck k . Hope u guys go well!!!

[Poetic Skye]

Well to update you guys, I'm not seeing this guy anymore, and I'm still unsure if I even want to talk to him ever or if it's even worth it. He's a top-class a-hole. He's not as good of a guy I thought he was, and I met someone completely opposite to him, he's interested in me, and we're just taking it very slow by being friends first. The best thing that came out of the other guy (Jeffrey) is that I learned about what not to see in a guy and I learned from this new guy friend in my life that it is best to start off as true friends. Also just as important this new guy is respectful and not condescending, he doesn't make me feel unworthy at all. And I know that with whatever happens in the future, I'm better off without Jeff altogether, cuz I know I deserve better. Have a great Christmas, Hannukah, Kwanzaa, and any other cultural holiday that I'm leaving out. And a Happy New Year

[camman]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (Poetic Skye @ Dec. 24 2004,08:57)]I'm better off without Jeff altogether, cuz I know I deserve better.

That u do. It takes a bunch of times to get it right. I just hope he didnt hurt u in the end. Him bieng a dick is 1 thing but i hope he didnt hurt ya.
*I hope u have a great holiday too. *
Good luck with all ur relationship concers.
Happy *Chrismahanakwansaka!