wanting wife to have a threesome

[steveo]

when i met my wife she was dating my friend. she set me up with her friend. well that night we went to her friends house and straight to the bedroom. we all layed on the bed and talked. i have known her for like five days so far. she asked if we all could have a orgy. i said yes but then nothin happened that night. i did get to watch her with my friend. then a few days later she set me up again. we went to a hotel that night. my friend and her had sex but my date was a dud. i watched her give him head and intercourse. she did know i was watching too. after a few weeks i was dating her. she was wild, after a month she was a sex kitten, she would do almost anything. i let her expose herself to others and stuff. now after six years of marrage i still think of those couple nights. i asked her before about those nights, and if she would of had sex with both of us. she said yes i would of. i said like head and sex for both of us, and she said yes. now a year later i asked her if she would like to have a threesome with some guy she liked. the answer was no i don't and then she got mad at me.
now i don't understand, she wanted to before, she likes to use dildos but now she don't want a threesome. is thier a way to convince her to have one or is it going to be a never ever thing. and i did like watching her with my friend and i really don't think it would bother me at all. and yes i do really love her!

[oberon]

Well, no, there is no way to "convince" her to do something she doesn't want to do. But you can discuss it with her. Find out her reasons for changing what was apparently once her behavior. Who knows? She may have a good reason not to want to do this. Or she may not. Or she may have some idea that isn't true where you can reassure her. The only way to find out is to talk it out.

[steveo]

i have talked to her and all i get is you want me to be with someone else?

[demonbuttercup]

Maybe it has to do w/ the fact that now you guys are actually married. That does change things a bit.
Even if she used to be wild, people can change their ways. Maybe she doesn't want to go against her wedding vows or something.

[WallyLlama]

Here's two key points:

YOU WANT to convince her.

She objects with "YOU WANT me to be with someone else."

Do you see the pattern? This is all about what YOU want. If there's any hope of revisiting those old wild days, it has to include what SHE wants.

I'd suggest some conversation about the old days... find out how she felt/feels about them... were they exciting? did she truly enjoy it?

She still may chose not to do it, but you'll perhaps have a better understanding of her and her reasons.

[Rawbob]

We ALL have done stuff in our past that we don't want to repete in the future. She may have matured to the point where having a DIFFERENT or ANY man is alot less important than the RIGHT man!

Now, there are MANY ways to have feaux 3ways! If u have a computer and a webcam, you can join some webcamming sites and have guys, gals and couples watch you 2 whie u watch them...its safe, fun and harmless!

You can also go to couples/swing clubs where u can still be very sexual, but not invite others to join.

You need to be creative BUT you must not ask her to compromise her feelings or desires!

[DMC87]

this seems pretty simple to me, shes married and loves you now, she was wild back then.

Thats it, in a nutshell, shes happy with her choice and done her experimenting and wild days.

Convincing her doesn't seem an option and trying to might emotioanlly hurt her.

[Greendale]

Begging her to do things she doesn't want to do will make you sign divorce papers in the next few months. If she doesn't want it, get over it and stop being such a horny asshole.

[oberon]

It may be that she feels that the two of you have a deeper relationship. I'm sort of that way. If I'm just dating someone, I can have a threeway. But if I'm in love, I don't really consider having sex with anyone else. That person IS my fantasy... no outside help needed. Does that make sense... or it is just more confusing??

[territries]

Everyone has a set of rules they try to live by.
In your wifes mind, maybe promiscuous sex is ok if you are single but taboo if your married. You will need to accept that.

One other thought... Age tends to change our bodies for the worse so maybe she is more self consoius about her appearance than she used to be.