Wondering...

[ftcollinsboy121]

Where to begin, where to begin...

Well, this past week, I told a very good friend of mine (a girl) that I liked her. Not just physically though, but emotionally. I can always talk to her about any subject and she'll always be there to listen. After I told her this, she told me she was in a relationship already and wouldn't want anything besides it. She still wants to be friends, as do I, but the past few days have been hell to go through. I can't get her outta my head, I get teary-eyed just even talking w/ her anymore or about her with other friends, and I always come to the conclusion that I'm not attractive or desirable enough for anyone. What the hell is wrong?

[demonbuttercup]

I know its hard coming out to a friend that you like them in "more than a friend" kinda way. One thing I gotta ask is if you guys are friends, why didn't you know she was already seeing someone else?
Things might have ended up different if she was single. You can't get down on yourself or down on her for wanting to stay w/ her boyfriend. Like I said, if she was single, she might have jumped at the chance to be your g/f. Its a wrong place, wrong time, kinda thing. Just try not to let this ruin the friendship you already have w/ her.

[ftcollinsboy121]

I was under the impression she was single. About a month ago, she told me that she was single and looking forward to the time "alone" so to speak. It was quite a shock to me to find out she was in a relationship again. I dunno if it was her ex or not, but it was quite disheartening. But it won't affect our friendship though.

[vagabondprince]

don't let this get you down too much. back when i was single, looking for a girlfriend, i'd imagine that they'd simply drop their guy and come to me. of course this never happened. And now that i am in a relationship with someone, i know it'dbe some major BS if she just dropped her relationship with me to be with someone else that simply.

Things to possibly think about: if this is a new relationship, she may want some time to test the waters with this new dude, in which case just dumping him isn't what she's going to do for a while. Or if it's her getting back with her ex, that definitely takes a lot of commitment saying "well, things may not have worked out for whatever reason the first time, but I want to give it another shot." I'll just say that if she decides to get out of that for you and then sometime realizes she was possibly head over heals for the other dude (not saying she doesn't like you, but some people just form attachments to certain people), it's a fair bet that the dude she broke up with twice would be jaded enough to say forget that, i don't wanna risk getting hurt again.

I'm just making speculations, i don't really know if any of this is even remotely valid, but it's food for thought.

Good luck in your future endeavors

[soulmates82]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (ftcollinsboy121 @ Oct. 24 2004,20:08)]Where to begin, where to begin...
...a very good friend of mine (a girl) ...I can always talk to her about any subject and she'll always be there to listen. After I told her this, she told me she was in a relationship already and wouldn't want anything besides it. She still wants to be friends.... ...and I always come to the conclusion that I'm not attractive or desirable enough for anyone. What the hell is wrong?

i'd say yu are a VERY lucky guy!!!!! this gal cherishes the frienship you and her have and she wants you to always be in her life. she is saying you are much too good a friend for her to ever want to loose. boyfriends come boyfriends go - she wants you to always be there and for you and her to stay friends forever.
get it out of your mind that she thinks you are not desirable - if she didnt want you she would date you and then be no big deal to loose your friendship. you are the guy she isnt willing to risk loosing asa friend. dont be upset and take offence and stop being her friend. you mean more to her than any of the guys she goes out with. like will and grace - you and her - .... to be that close of a friend with this gal .... damn!!! how COOL for you!

[lilly2279]

Just because she doesn't want to date you doesn't mean you're not attractive or that something is wrong with you.

But unfortunately you may have to accept the fact that she does just want to be friends. You've put it out there and said your peace.

She may have said she was dating someone so as to not hurt your feelings. (not that I know that for sure) I would just be her friend and try to forget about making more than that out of it. If she wants it to happen, she'll let you know.

Now try not to just focus on her, and look at some other potential girlfriends.