shy guy

[flyinbri658]

I work at a deli. This girl about my age comes in every thursday night with her mom. I've been seeing them for about 2 years the amount of time I have worked there. But the past 5 months or so I have been really attratched to her. I get smiles, she plays with hair and etc. We catch eachother sneaking a look at eachother. I think she knows I like her but I dont know how to ask her. Her mom is right there always. I'm behind the deli counter. She's never had a guy with her so i guess she is single. Everytime she walks in I get really nervous and make sure nobody waits on them but me. I havent been in a realation since january. My last one was for 6 years. So I had some time off to get my life back together with school and everything and I really really like her and i just dont know how to ask her. I only see her at work and her mom is always there. Help please!!!

[oberon]

Okay, I had to go away and think about this some... and I'm still not sure I have any good ideas.

Is there anything you could give her? *Like a cookie, chips, etc... to go with whatever they order? (I'm not suggesting that you take it from the deli; you could pay for it...lol) *Just something so you could make it known that you've definitely noticed her. *Say something like, "I'm suppose to give a free cookie to the prettiest girl to walk in here today." *(Okay, that may be a little corny, but sometimes corny works...lol) * Maybe you could offer her a takeout menu and tell her to call the next time they plan on coming in, write your name on it, and tell her to ask for you... You, of course, just want to make sure their order is perfect...lol. *

Unless she's really obtuse (in which case, maybe Mom will explain it to her) she's going to realize you're are giving her special attention... and just maybe she'll go to the effort to come in alone sometime. *

It's just an idea... * Good Luck.

[WallyLlama]

I'd say "Go for the Mom." Now before you think that's perverted, think about it.

It might be something like, "I've been admiring your daughter and if it's okay with you and her, would like to get to know her better."

Part of my assumption in this is that you're both on the young side... Mom's permission and support will go a long way and the girl will think you're Prince Charming for respecting her Mom. Heck, maybe Mom will bring her by when you get off work or something.

[DMC87]

lol, I gotta admit these ideas are pretty, gd but flyinbri658 labelled the post 'shy guy' so perhaps it may be hard for him to do those things...

The only 'problem' is that its rare someone can come up with better advice then oberon and wallyllama. hmmmm tough situation.

[vagabondprince]

good point DMC.

as for dealing with getting over the shyness in order to ask her out, you said she is sneaking looks at you as much as you are sneaking them at her. So she is likely attracted to you. (totally speaking as a shy guy who thought these things and is making assumptions based on personal experience) You are probably worried about what she might think of you for asking her out, worried about her thinking you seem dumb or awkward for doing it. Based on my experiences, this is far from the case. If you use one of the suggestions mentioned above, likely the worst case would be that she's flattered, but not interested. Best case is she's available, and reciprocates the feelings you have for her. Once you actually do it you'll realize it's easy as pie. Good luck

[ftcollinsboy121]

Shyness is tough to deal with. Ya gotta grab life by the proverbial chutzpah, or you'll end up sitting in the back seat and missing all the action.

The only thing that's helped me conquer my shyness was just by telling myself I can't sit back. I've gotta push to the forefront. Tell yourself that as often as possible, or just keep reverberating it through your head. Though you may be at work, alcohol does have this strange way of lifting inhibitions. Mind you, I don't condone underage drinking, but that also helped me a bit as well.

[tt4u]

i'd say go for it! if you get the real feeling that she may also have some interest. ask her if she'd like to go out sometime. right in front of her mom. that way if you guys hit it off, mom has total respect for ya right off the bat. be sure that she's not wearing a ring first!!! or offer to buy her and mom's lunch one day.

[married1027]

I totally agree w/ Wally and go for the mom. If being shy is the problem write an honest quick note and give it to her with her order.

You don't have to be shakespere just write, "I'm kinda shy and would like to know..."

Imagine how the conversation would go and just write as you imagine yourself talking (as if you weren't nervous).

Put your phone number on the note too so she doesn't have to come in to your work to talk to you about it...

Good luck!

[flyinbri658]

Hey everyone thanks for the advice! I talk to her and got her number and we talk tonight for about an hr and we set up a date for this coming week! thanks everyone!