HELP!!!

[E.J.]

OK I'm about to go out of MY MIND!!! *I'm dying to experince a relationship, sex, etc with someone but don't even know how to go about it!

Well to begin with I'm a pre-op, pre hormon transgendered girl, I still have a male body (but was blessed with a reasonably fem body) so I guess the world sees me as a fem guy. *BUT I'm also sexually attracted to girls (guys too but MOSTLY to girls) *
I have different types I like BUT mostly I like tall athletic girls (who are alot taller and stronger than me) who are a little on the tomboyish side but still sweet and gentle. I'm VERY shy and *I would like a girl like that to kinda take the dominant role and come up to me and initiate a convo. *
It gets VERY frustrating b/c I wanna be with a girl like that, who will accept me for who I am, SO MUCH; BUT most girls like that won't even give me the time of day MUCH LESS approach me or make the first move on me...ANd even when I "try" to start up something with them they just kinda blow me of, like if I smile freindly they usually NEVER smile back or just look the other way. *There's ONLY 1 girl like that who kinda plays with me where I work but she doesn't come around much now.
I know being a trans. it's gonna be hard enough finding a relationship with an understanding girl much less the type I'm attracted too.

Any advice for a t-lesbian? *And please don't bash me, my life is confusing enough without that so I ask that you PLEASE don't bash me.

[WallyLlama]

I'm confused.

A guy...

...becoming "a woman"

...wanting to have sex with other women?

I'd suggest holding up on the "transgendering" - how do you know what you want to be if you're "dying to experince a relationship, sex, etc with someone but don't even know how to go about it!"

[lilly2279]

Well of course it's confusing...

It sounds to me like She is a guy who wants to be a girl (is more comfortable being a woman) but will be a lesbian even after she is a woman...

She wants to know how to go about meeting women that will accept her for who she is.

Do you have any kind of gay/Transgender bars in your area, where you can go hang out and see what happens? I know bars are horrible places to pick people up at.

I would try to do a search on a dating website that specifically deals with your situation. I'm sure there has to be one out there. Maybe do a search on google?

[E.J.]

To the first poster,, What were you confused about? *Just as there are straight and lesbian women, there are ALSO straight and lesbian T-women. *
AND I have ALWAYS known what I wanted to be every since I was 4 yours old. My gendere identity has NOTHING to do with my sexual orientation or what I wanna have sex with.
I've always been a girl in a guy's body but happen to be attracted to girls.


Well what I am IS recognized, but it's still VERY rare, There are many names for it. *"lesbian transsexual", "transgendered lesbian", "transgendered gay woman", etc *Yeah I want a girl who will accept me for who I am, I DO have a male body but feel like a girl on the inside, so I want a girl to psychologically and emotionally relate to me and LOVE me as another woman (eventhough I have a male body) *I've thought about having surgery BUT am not NEAR financially able to even THINK about that right now.

No not in my area there are NO gay, trans bars, I live in a very small town.

I just feel like I dont really fit in with straight or lesbian women, b/c lesbians want a REAL female and straight women want a man that IS A MAN.
If anyother trans. people out there, feel free to offer advice if you've had any experince like this,,,,or ANYONE!

[oberon]

Hi EJ and welcome.

First of all, PLEASE, don't go out of your mind...lol... you have an unusual (not bad) situation. *There's actually a scene in the movie "Jeffrey" that has a person with the same issue: male to female/lesbian. *If you haven't seen the movie, you might watch it... it's hilarious. *But that's not what you were asking about...

Have you tried any of the online dating sites. *Try gay.com. *They have sites for almost every major country in the world, and even though it's "gay". com, it's "gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender". *Even if you don't find someone there, it's a great source of information and resource to find other places to look... they even have a message board as well.

Finally, don't worry too much about finding someone... you will. *You just have to be patient. *I know that's hard. *However, being patient can pay off in having a great experience verses a mediocre one.

Good luck and take care.

[LadyOfLucidDepths]

i don't get it.. wat is a T- lesbian.. like..
you are a guy? like born a guy? but wanna be a girl?or... im confused

[DMC87]

Ok, ladyofluciddepths basically, he was born a boy, he feels psychologically that he is a she, and therefore wishes to dress up and possibly have an operation to become a woman. At the same time he (or rather she) is struggling to find a relationship with a straight woman who can accept him as being transgendered.
Hope that makes sense

[E.J.]

Oberon-Thanks for being so understnading, I'd like to see that movie! As I've never really seen a situation EXACTLY like mine.

Yeah I hang out at gay.com *a lot.. I even have an AD there but haven't got any responces, BUT *I don't have a pic there yet so maybe once I get once something will happen.
Right now transsexualism is kinda just thrown in with homosexuality, I hope someday there'll be a section there for "straight transsexuals, gay trans, bi, and lesbian trans.
Thanks for being understanding and offering some hope

And DMC87, Yeah you have it mostly right and seems you understand it pretty well.
The only thing is I'd rather have a relationship with a LESBIAN girl who would accept me as being transgendered, or ATLEAST a bisexual girl, I don't think a 100% straight girl would wanna be with me in a relationship b/c she would be seeing it as a straight relationship whereas I'd be seeing it as a lesbian relationship. *I think I would prolly be better with a bisexual girl b/c at least there would be a part of her that could love me as a woman, and I'm looking for a girl that will have a "lesbian RELATIONSHIP" with me psychologically; and even PHYSICALLY, b/c my sexual desires in the bedroom are a lot more similar to a typical woman's and NOT a man's, I think a bi-girl would appreciate that more than a straight girl...I'm more into us holding, cuddling, and sweeting-talking eachother, and NOT just "pop it to her" like most men are.

[oberon]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (E.J. @ Oct. 22 2004,20:39)]Oberon-Thanks for being so understnading, I'd like to see that movie! As I've never really seen a situation EXACTLY like mine.

Hey, think nothing of it... we should all try to be there for each other no matter what our situation. *About "Jeffrey", the scene I'm talking about isn't very long... It takes place at the Pride parade.... Olympia Dukakis plays the soon to be lady's mother... and she's great as a VERY supportive parent. *

It's good to see that you are thinking. *A bisexual woman might JUST be the answer you are looking for. *You could turn out to be her "all in one package" love...lol. *I think that would be great! *

As for a transgender board on gay.com (or any other gay site), push for it. *If anyone should be sensitive to the needs of a minority is should be another minority. *It certainly has my vote.

Take care.

[Vallin]

I'm a "paratrexual" (tranny/sissy lover), and I LOVE your type of athletic Amazon cis-GG's. If you're ever in Atlanta, I'd love to have a three-some!