getting tested

[funeral_of_hearts69]

I have only been with this guy for a week now and i was wondering if you guys would give me your opinions about getting him tested, i mean we are in no hurry or anything but i don't know if i should or not.

[demonbuttercup]

glad you are thinking ahead funeral.
i wouldn't just yet tho, since getting tested kind of implies that you are going to have sex w/ him soon.
maybe wait and see how things go and if you guys really hit it off then go somewhere and get tested together. even if you have no reason to believe you have anything, it would show good grace that you are willing to do it too.
i maybe be totally off tho, lol, hopefully someone else will reply.

[WallyLlama]

I think DBC is on the mark... particularly in view of the fact you're 14. (I'm not sure where 14 year olds go for this sort testing, though.)

Put sex into perspective and on the back burner.

Asking about testing at this point is premature and sends the wrong message, I'd say. Admittedly I'm a bit older (!), but if you asked me that question this early in the relationship (one week!), it would not have a positive effect - even if I really wanted to have sex with you.

It sends too many wrong messages.

At least I hope they're wrong.

[Rawbob]

It's very refreshing to hear someone talking about being tested before going too far into their relationship.

Now, i think the key thing here is to TALK to him/her about sex, std's etc.....not so much their sexual history - i think that's an unfair question without the context of the bigger issue of STD's.

And, just because a person test's neg. for any STD's, if you are not in a 100% committed relatioship, that test is only good for that particular day.

In fact, many tests take up to 2 weeks for complete results, so you need to make sure that there's no sex between the bloodtest and intimacy!

Ok..i'm rambling..but i say GOOD FOR YOU! Talk to him/her about it...and you know what - YOU GET YOUR TEST FIRST! Set the expectation and level you hold yourself to!

[oberon]

I'd say Rawbob is right on the money. Unless you are in a committed relationship (one where you are sure the other person is completely trustworthy) then getting tested doesn't mean much. If this is something you feel is necessary, then demonbuttercup's suggestion of going together is a good one.

Don't just rely on being tested though. You still should be using birth control and condoms. Preferably, with a spermicidal foam or gel. None of these things are 100% effective to prevent disease or pregnancy, but used together, you've at least taken reasonable precautions.