Want to meet more women

[DMC87]

I really want to start meeting more woman and having new relationships but there are 2 real problems.

1. I really haven't gotten over my ex girlfriend, is it wise to pursue a relationship? Is there a way to get over someone quickly? On top of that she has recently started e-mailing me and texting my mother after I have asked her for a clean break 3 weeks ago! Maybe it's cos her birthday is soon and she wants a gift but thats no reason for causing me undue emotional problems!

2. My previous relationships have been with friends and it has developed into love so I have no clue on how/where to meet women and I am way to shy to go up to them :(

If I am honest there are a relative few girls who are friends just because of how shy I am.

I'd be very grateful for any advice given.

[demonbuttercup]

well id say you should give yourself a little longer than 3 weeks to get over your g/f and start a new relationship. take a little time before you jump right back into something else.

[Norinco]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (DMC87 @ Aug. 20 2004,09:17)]2. My previous relationships have been with friends and it has developed into love so I have no clue on how/where to meet women and I am way to shy to go up to them

If I am honest there are a relative few girls who are friends just because of how shy I am.

i wish i had some actual constructive advice to offer about this.
i have a shyness problem myself, but it's a bit worse then yours even (i have a really bad case of it....bordering on "disorder" actually)
while i've received a lot of advice on here on overcoming shyness, generally the one fact that everyone seems to agree on is that the best way to overcome anxiety about talking to women.......is by talking to women. essentially you've got to put your shyness aside and just bite the bullet. it's not easy, i'll tell you that, personally i'm just unable to do it.
but i'm relaying to you what i've been told. it doesn't sound like your shyness is as advanced as mine, so you may have an easier time with it. you actually have female "friends", while i can't even get to this stage.
but if you sit alone at home, you'll never meet anyone, and you'll keep sitting home alone. i know all about this.
apparently you just have to go for it.

[experimenter]

You really should give yourself more time. Going into a new relationship when you still have issues from your last one generally isn't a good idea. Give yourself time to get over your last girlfriend, but in the meantime don't be afraid to talk to other girls. I know it can be hard talking to people, I too don't particularly like having to talk to people I don't know. My issues aren't necessary from being shy, but more of being extremely self-conscious. Norinco had a good point. About the only way to get over your shyness is by just going out and doing the thing that you don't like, which in your case would be talking to girls. If you really want to break out of your shell, you gotta start somewhere. I don't know anything about you, age, whether you are in school or out, or whether you live in a big city or not, but if what you are afraid of is rejection from a girl, go to a place that if it happens, the chances of you running into this girl would be very slim. Hope that makes sense.

[WallyLlama]

Lots of good thoughts... I'd add:

Make sure your Mom knows that you have no desire to get back together, etc. and put your ex on the email ignore list. You may have to force her to respect your clean break request, but it will be worth it in your quest to move on.

I'd also caution you against over stating your shyness and labeling yourself with "emotional problems," etc. The power of the mind is amazing, and it listens to how you think and how you speak. (Self-fulfilling Prophecies) I'm not suggesting these are not real issues, but you want to redirect your attention and energy forward.

As I'm fond of saying, "Jet pilots don't use rearview mirrors."