No experience with women

[brytho]

I am 17, and have no experience w/ women at all, im the sort of reclusive nerd type. Anyway my girlfriend has already done everything but have sex with her previous relationships and unfortunately my experience before her was a "kiss," with one girl, in the sixth grade. Well we have already had some serious intimacy but I always manage to screw things up whenever she hints at taking it to the next level. Usually I get nervous and blurt something out that would most definitely piss her off on complete accident. For instance, tonight, we were kissing and she was breathing in my ear and I started to laugh a little just out of nervousness i think. The worst part is why I told her that I was laughing, She recently got her deviated septem fixed and they had to put a tube in her tear duct. And being the bad person that I am said, "I'm laughing because your breathing reminded me of the tube in your eye." Thats right, as soon as those words came out of mouth I immediately regreted them and thought to myself, "Why didnt I just say something else, like maybe how happy I am or something, anything but that." So she immediately became self conscious and I apologized a million times. After she had forvgiven me for it, I told her," Whenever we makeout and I feel that we are going to take it further, I panic, get nervous and say something that I would later regret." Her response was," From now on I will no longer kiss 'you' on the lips, trust me on this, its better for you in the long run." I pryed her for an answer but to no avail I guess and I had to call it a night. For like a month and a half now I have been getting nervous whenever we are about to take kissing and touching to the next level but I don't know what the problem may be. I know I am not homosexual so I figure it has to be something psychological that is subconsciously preventing me from doing sexual activities w/ my girlfriend. So basically, I have a couple of questions for anyone willing to answer:
1)What the hell is she talking about when she says trust me, is she saying that Im going to have get over my nervousness or no more affection from her or what!? Really no clue on that one.
2) And most importantly, what is really wrong with me, has anybody else had this problem before, and if not, could somebody recommend a good therapist. I am really getting frustrated and scared and I dont know what to do because my g/f is really getting insecure about herself.
Does anybody have any advice for the biggest virgin on the planet because I dont want to hurt my g/f anymore. More than anything, I would like someone to explain my nervousness to me because I dont know what is up with me!

HELP PLEASE.....................

[mspersia82]

You're not ready to take things to the next level and your gf is. You two do not want the same things. It is obvious that the prospect of sex is making you nervous because you are inexperienced and not ready for it. That does not imply that you are homosexual. There's nothing wrong with a man not being ready. Women feel that way all of the time. Just don't do things that make you nervous and uncomfortable. If that means breaking up with your gf, then so be it. Either she can respect that you don't want to do more and you two can set a boundary of what will and will not happen in order to calm your nerves or the two of you can just never be affectionate. It seems that you would be better matched with a more inexperienced girl like yourself so that neither of you will feel pressured.

[Brauul]

The "trust me" comment to me sounds like she wants YOU to make the move. *If she didn't outright break up with you, then it sounds like she wants you to gain some confidence and do what YOU want to do. *Sounds strange, but my g/f loves it when I take control of a situation. *Look she is ready to take it further and is putting the ball into your court (unless her tone said otherwise). *If you two like eachother, and are having no other problems, then I would just work at it. Just take things slow and if something comes out, then so be it. *Just keep getting more comfortable and see what happens as you learn more about her and what she wants. *You would be surprised what can happen if you cup her face in your hands and drew her head to yours and give a long passionate kiss. *It is a small show of control, but it shows that you are getting more comfortable. *It doesn't mean you have to throw her on the bed and have your way with her, but if you get used to having control, then you can give HER some control and see what it's like to just recieve for awhile. *and please PLEASE talk things out. *Make absolutely sure she has no problems with what is going on. *Just like anything in this world, moderation is the key. *Don't worry about jumping into things. *Just take it at what pace makes YOU comfortable for now. *If she complains then you go from there. *But, don't assume it is your fault or that you are causing problems. *You have every right to be nervous. *If she is worth it to be with, then she should be patient and understanding of what your situation is.