Hanging with her friends

[Mouta]

Ok, my gf always wants me to hang out and go out with her friends and stuff...this is when she choose what we do. i dont really like her friends thhaaat much and I dont like hanging around them...should I tell her and just, see what happens, or give her friends a chance first. Thanks.

[shastavopo]

this may sound grim and maybe i'm just too soft, but i don't even hardly see my friends any more. i didn't like my gf's friends at first either but if you plan on getting into a serious relationship with her, you'll be seeing a lot of them whether you like it or not, so you may as well try to get along with them. if you don't see the relationship really going anywhere, then tell her you don't like her friends and see what happens. but from my experience, real relationships are about sacrifice, even if it means doing things you told yourself you would never do, like ditching your friends to make your gf happy. don't get me wrong, you should tell her how you feel no matter what, but if there is a future, instead of just straight up telling her you don't like her friends, maybe just tell her its important to you to have a "guy's night out" every once in a while or something like that. hope that helps.

[demonbuttercup]

shastavopo makes a good point tho i don't think he should have had to ditch his friends for his g/f.
he mentioned sacrafice and thats right. you might not like them and not get to do what you always want to do but thats how relationships work.
girls night out and boys night out are both good ideas.
my b/f and i do this.
i go shopping w/ my girlfriend and he'll sometimes hang out w/ some of his friends after work.
although, i get a long w/ my b/f's friends. they've become my friends too and i enjoy hanging out w/ them.
just give her friends some time, maybe they'll grow on you. lol
also, maybe if you are brave you could bring both of your sets of friends together.
that way you don't feel like the odd man out.
i can't imagine a guy wanting to hang out w/ a bunch of girls either...lol.

i wouldn't just come out and tell her. it will hurt her feelings and then she might feel like she's a bad person or bad judge of character for having friends that you don't like. also, my roommate had a g/f that none of his friends really cared for. so then he started having to alienate his friends and choose between them and his g/f. you shouldn't have to choose one or the other, you should and need to have both. maybe she's isn't crazy about your friends but goes along for the ride b/c she loves you. but beware of girls who try to make you leave your friends and ONLY spend time w/ her. they are being very controling and trying to take over your life.

just try to make it even of when you hang out w/ her and her friends and she hangs out w/ you and your friends. happy mediums are the key.

[WallyLlama]

Think, "Yours, mine, ours."

It's a classic mistake to believe that every couple will love all the same people and things and do everything together. It's just not realistic.

For now it's probably going to be sometimes hers, sometimes yours. In time you'll probably make mutual friends - particularly with other couples.

On the other hand, if her idea of your relationship is that you tag along with her and her friends... well, that won't work for long, I suspect.

[secretly_shy]

In an ideal world everyone would hold hands, skip in a cirlce and get on well with everyone!

sadly our world isnt ideal.

Even tho my BF and I like each others set of friends, we still have nights when we go out with our own friends without each other, because we dont feel the need to be "glued" to each other 24/7. Its important to retain a relationship with your friends, you shouldnt like them any less just because youve found lurve.

[Mouta]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (WallyLlama @ July 02 2004,04:00)]On the other hand, if her idea of your relationship is that you tag along with her and her friends... well, that won't work for long, I suspect.

Well first off thanks for the input everyone!

Btw I know its not a tag along with her friends thing, cuz somtimes she asks if just us wanna do stuff too...actually most of the time. I guess ill give her friends a try

[Chewger]

Don't just tell her you don't like them, give her reasons. I don't like a couple of my girlfriend's friends, because they don't understand that we are together. They still flirt with her and try to sleep with her when I am not around. I tell her straight-up that this guy or that guy is trying to bang you and I don't like hangin out with the guy because he sees me as a threat, rather than a friend. She still hangs out with the guys, because she knows nothing will happen. She just doesn't ask me to come with them anymore. Make sure that they are decent reasons, and not just "she gives me a bad vibe." I can't stand going on double dates with her best friend, because her boyfriend treats her like a total moron and I can't stand when he berates her in front of me. My girlfriend understands that and doesn't set up any more double dates.