Guys into Bigger Girls?

[MizMinx555]

I was just curious. Its been running through my head for awhile and I figured this would be the perfect place to get some honest feedback, everyone here is so great (brown nose alert...)! I happen to be a bigger girl. I know my limits when it comes to guys, I know what to expect and what not not to expect. Heath Ledgers dont date Sarah Rues (a larger actress if you havent heard of her). What I dont get is why guys around my same size wont even look twice at me either. You'd think they'd have a bigger perspective and a more open mind... Are there any guys out there that arnt larger and like a bigger woman? Why? What makes us attractive to you. Men who arnt into us... Why not? What specifically turns you off (please give me more, or somthing different for that matter, than "yall are ugly fatties" I really am looking for honest feedback)?

And while I really do appreciate those of you who really dont care about appearences... tell me why. I'm not bitter (well maybe a little...lol), this isnt about that. I'm just curious.

Those of you who care to reply, I'd appreciate it.

[thetease13]

ok, I'm a girl, but eh, I'm going to answer anyways and give it from my perspective since it may help some.

First off, I know guys that like bigger girls. They say they like a little meat on the body. A little junk in the trunk.
I know guys that like skinnier petite girls like myself. And no, I'm not talking about your 5'10" long tall skinny and blonde with big boobs. I'm short. I'm 5'2". I have like zero boobs (A cup) and have brown hair with a mind of it's own. I don't wear makeup and could care less about dressing up to get people to be attracted to me.

I think it all more or less depends on the person.

Like I said, I'm short skinny, etc. I personally like a guy with a little pudge. My guy has some. He's not really overweight, it's just pudge. And I find it extremely adorable. I like my guys to have a little pudge. Makes em more pokeable and loveable to me. It's something I like to cuddle and snuggle with and hug. It makes me giggle. (Yes, I'm strange. Thanks for noticing. lol)
But honestly, appearances ain't all that to me. Sure it helps some, but he has to be much more than just looks. My guy would definately not be a looker to most people. Yes, I have always found him attractive, but that's not what attracted me to him. He's got a really great personality and a really great sense of humor. You have those two, and you'd already won me over most of the way. lol.

So, I'm not really sure that helped any since I'm not a guy, but maybe it did.

[WallyLlama]

Hmmm... a difficult question to answer. Forgive the attempt a humor, but it is a bit like the old "does size matter?" debate.

And the answer is really similar. I think it's always about the total package... specifically, it seems that there are at least two hazards that go along with being "bigger."

One is allowing body size to affect one's self-image. A woman (or man, for that matter) who is constantly feeling bad about herself is not much fun to be with. Conversely, a woman who exudes confidence and sexiness... well, she'll be sexy regardless of her body size.

Two is (and this probably relates to the first) when a "bigger" person "gives up" and starts acting stereotypically. Unfortunately, some people are "ugly fatties." But it's not because of their size, it's because of the way they act.

While I can't say I'm specifically attracted to "bigger" women, I certainly don't avoid them, either. What makes them attractive is that they believe and feel they are attractive... they relate to people in an open and fun way. I'd be delusional if I didn't confess that appearance is a factor in the early stages, but appearance is about more than size.

Wally

[MizMinx555]

I can see your point Wally. But honestly, for girls its harder to be confident and "exude sexiness" because, in my personal opinion, society comes down harder on girls for being overweight. How can you be confident when during the years you were suppose to be developing that specific trait, you were brought down and hammered on constantly because you were fat? I mean personally, school really fucked me up; I'm more comfortable around older people (5-6 years or more) because I was an only child, raised around people that age, and generally they dont really judge me on my weight. My professors love me because I can sit there and hold lively intelligent conversations with them, but when I get around people my own age, I clam up because I feel like their judging me. I feel like if I act normally, dont hold back, be loud or goofy if I want to, their gunna sit there and think "dude, look at the fat chick who thinks shes cool," because thats how I was treated in highschool. I wore lipstick once and was made fun of infront of an entire assembly. The only person I could be myself around was my best freind because he accepted every part of me, no matter what. So now Im immediatly distrustful of other people. Completely off subject but there it is.

And tease... lol Im a bigger girl, and I like bigger guys, and maybe thats as god planned, but if I were thin, Id still like them, so I completely agree. And whats worse than being big? Being big and being a B-cup with a flat ass. lol

[thetease13]

I like older people too.
I always hung around the adults and whatnot on fieldtrips and I always seemed to make better friends with the teachers than the students half the time. I'm not an only child but I was always drug everywhere with my parents (and still am) and I guess it's just the environment I got attached to. There are also no relatives my age. There's a considerable gap between the relatives in my generation and me.

Anyways, I guess I like them cause they tend to be a little less judgemental than people my own age. My guy is like 20 years older than me and he's never once judged me or try to change me like all the people around my age do.

[Tessie]

I can relate to you very much MizMinx. I have been a big girl my whole life and have always had the skinny, pretty girl as my best friends and skinny men for boy friends. Just the way it turned out. I feel like I have spent my life comparing myself to others. Still a struggle for me to this day.

School was the worst thing in my life. When I was in the 7th grade my grandma had made me a bunch of shirts. the full kind with long flowing sleeves. Popular at the time. Now I was 13 and this woman teacher dragged me into her class room and asked me if I was pregnant. Not only that but made me lift up my shirt so she could poke around my belly to see for herself. I didn't tell this story for years and years. When I told my mom once I was a grown-up she was livid at that fact I hadn't told her so she could go slap that teacher.

That experience set me up forever on being self-conscience about my body and especially about my stomach to this day. I have no problem showing most my body off but I don't do naked ever. Not even with my husband of 13 years.

Now I have gotten better at believing that people find me pretty and sexy. I still don't know why that is. But I just say thank you and believe they are telling the truth.

Now I do agree with Wally that you have to work on feeling confident and sexy. You have to look at yourself and tell yourself that you are hot and men want you. You have to fix yourself up the best you can which will make you feel better about yourself.

Nothing makes me feel sexier then to get a new piece of lingerie and see my guy's eyes light up. Now inside of me is still the little fat girl that thinks she is ugly and gross but on the outside I try very hard not to let that show to people.I even have real moments when I believe it myself.

Try to let go of the feelings of high school and make this a new day for you. You are as a beautiful and sexy as you allow yourself to be. Just my opinion.

[lilly2279]

We really do need more men to respond to this!!

But I'll give my opinion, anyway, because I am definitely a plus sized girl. *I've met and talked to plenty of men are attracted to plus sized women and men who are not. *My ex husband is a big guy and will only date women who are plus sized now! But, of course, there are always going to be the men who just don't prefer that body style (just as you don't prefer skinny guys) *It's all a matter of what you find sexy... *

When we have some meat on our bones, we are soft and warm and give them something to hold on to. *But in all reality you can't just say to yourself "I'm fat and that's the way I am" and not try to be healthy. *I definitely have a fat gene. *My biological mother was heavy. I was raised by skinny people. I was heavy since I was 2. *I was skinny for about 1 year when I basically got myself anorexic. *Eating barely anything, exercising 3 hours a day, etc. *Was a size 5 and very unhealthy. *Now, I'm plus sized, I walk 3 miles a day, am very active, try to eat healthy, but won't deny I love sweets (I just don't keep them in the house), and portray a positive image to others. *I do think I'm beautiful. *I don't think I'm ugly. Do something for yourself to make yourself beautiful. Join a women's gym and visit a few times a week so you feel better. Eat a few more fruits and vegetables. I'm not saying "diet and change your body completely", I'm just saying to be a healthy person. That definitely helps your self esteem!

There is NO harm in just saying "hi" to someone and flashing a quick smile. *Don't dress frumpy, always try to look nice. *Do your hair, put on some light make-up to bring out your best feature, get that cute shirt you were looking at and believe you're beautiful. *Everyone is beautiful in their own way, hon. *

But it's very true if you are self conscious and portray that to everyone you meet (not making eye contact, not talking, etc), you are telling people that you are NOT worth talking to! *Is that true? *I bet it's not!

Even skinny girls think they are ugly, trust me. *Beautiful girls thinking they are fat, not getting naked in front of their husbands, etc. *A positive attitude about yourself covers a lot of little flaws that people aren't really looking at anyway.

Go out there and show people you are likeable and worth talking to. *Not because someone told you to, but because you know it's true.

[WallyLlama]

Trying to keep the "men" input up! LOL

Lots of good perspectives and thoughts in this thread. And I'm willing to concede that it may be difficult for a guy to fully understand the difficulties a woman experiences with this.

But I'd note that we all have our crosses to bear... big noses... birth marks... too skinny... too shy... I probably don't need to go on. LOL The question ultimately becomes one of how you bear the cross. It's very easy to project your expectations on to everyone and that's very unfair to other people, really. Give people a chance to appreciate you for who you are and many will!

In addition to the suggestions already offered, I'd add that it might be helpful to read stories of or talk to people who overcame a physical handicap. I think you'll discover that the change wasn't the handicap and it wasn't how other people viewed them.

Believe me, I'm not saying it's easy. But most things worth doing aren't easy.

As a start, I think every woman who's posted here and indicated their body size is, um, "ample" should now be required to return and post at least one quality about themselves that is extremely sexy and attractive.

I'm waiting!

[Tessie]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] ]As a start, I think every woman who's posted here and indicated their body size is, um, "ample" should now be required to return and post at least one quality about themselves that is extremely sexy and attractive.

Good post Wally. On my other board there is a thread about women griping about their bodies and someone started a thread ordering us to say something nice that we do like.

So I will go first and say that I don't have a bad looking face. Been told I have a nice smile. *

What I think makes me the most sexy and attractive is that I don't take myself to serious. I love to laugh and have fun. I also love sex and have no problem being open and responsive to the man that makes me feel comfortable.

Oh and I have nice feet. Well the tops of them anyway ( go barefoot to much so don't look at the bottoms) I can pick up anything with my toes. I can even stroke a man with my toes. How's that for sexy? That is if you are into feet. LOL

[MizMinx555]

LOL.... Yall are great!! Thank you so much for responding so positivly! It really doesnt matter that not very men are responding, not that I dont appreciate your opinion and input Wally.

Lilly I completley understand where your coming from, and I do try as much as I can to eat healthily, although its hard because I work 12 hour days at a theatre on wardrobe crew and they feed us there, so theres limited choices that are palitable (Im going to start bring my own stuff) and when I have a day off, all I want to do is sleep and spend time with my dogs and cats, whom I hardly ever get to see. When this job is done at the end of the month, Ill be able to spend more time on myself and intend to. I actually dropped a size my freshman year of college, only to gain it back last year cuz I lived off campus, but away from home, and across the street from a taco bell (bad combo in any situation). I dont dress frumpily when I have the time to do my hair and put on makeup (beleive it or not, up untill a few weeks ago I was a fashion major), but time and uselessness is the issue. Who wants to spend 45minutes getting ready after only getting about 4 hours sleep, only so you can go back to work and sweat it off hauling around costumes and industrial irons in a varitable sauna of a wardrobe room?

I know I need to put myself out there. I have a freind who has made a solemn vow to "re-socialize" me. LOL! Shes hilarious. "Every party I go to this summer Im dragging your ass there too!" I dont think I come off shy, quite the opposite. If Im comfortable in a situation and feel insecure about the people around me, I come off a bit too confident, (okay lets be honest) even a bit of a bitch. Its pretty misleading, but I guess thats how I learned to deal with it.

Where ever yall are meeting all these guys who like big girls, I wish you would let me in on the secret. Perhaps I just havent been around enough. Im not 21 yet, so the bar scene isnt really an option and I go to a small school, so parties dont really happen either except for the same old people Iv been at parties with a thousand times before.

Anyway... Thank you again... SO MUCH! for resonding. I truly appreciate it.

Stephanie

PS: One of my good features.... I have really nice skin, very fair with constantly pink cheeks (never have to worry about blush) and nice shaped fuller lips...