Advice...Help...Something...

[BabyRuth76]

This is basically the story. *I like this guy Adam. *Well 2 days ago my best friend told Adam and 2 of his friends that I liked him. *She said it slipped out but I don't believe it. *Well anyway before all that happened Adam would come up to me and hug me and kiss me and flirt ALOT with me until I finally started liking him like a week ago. *But I'm shy so I always wait for the guys to make the first move (they always do *He never does that type of stuff to any other girl except me so all of my friends have been saying that he likes me, but ever since my friend Jaime told him that I liked him, he has stopped doing all that stuff and has just avoided me completely. * *I don't get it. *He's been totally avoiding me. *Can anybody kinda guess at what he's trying to say because I am REALLY confused. *He truly acted like he liked me but now he's acting so weird and like a little kid. *Can somebody PLEASE help? ? ? ? * * I'm so used to getting every single guy that I like to like me back and end up asking me out that I am so clueless now and have no idea what Adam is trying to say. *

Please Help

[thetease13]

he's most likely avoiding you because he doesn't like you in that way.
just because someone "flirts" with you or gives you a hug or a kiss doesn't mean they like you in that way.
i give lots of guys hugs. i "flirt" with them in a playful way. one of them will give me a kiss on the cheek sometimes but there's nothing more to it than that.

he COULD be avoiding you because he doesn't know what to say. but, i think it's because he just doesn't like you in that way.
there are things in life you have to learn to accept. one of things is not everyone you like is gonna like you back in that way.

[duckie]

He may even be getting crap from his friends and this may be part of the reason he has been avoiding you. YOu did mention that 2 of his friends were there when you friend slipped up and told him.

Just speculations though, unless actually there I couldn't really give you an more advice.

[demonbuttercup]

ive been in the situation thetease is talking about.
i would always have lots of guy friends and thats how i thought of them.
there would be even times we'd spend one on one time together hanging out or going to movies w/out the rest of the gang, but just as friends.
then i found out he was practically in love w/ me. and i really cared about him but just as a friend. i in no way found him sexually attractive or whatever.
so then i felt awkward when we were alone together. i was always paranoid he'd make a move on me or something and i didn't want to brush him off and hurt his feelings.
maybe you need to just talk to Adam.
usually things don't work out too well when theres a 3rd party relaying messages between you guys. sometimes things get morphed into something else.
even if he tries to avoid you just say look whats your deal? why are you acting weird?

also, he could be one of those guys who just likes the thrill of the chase just to see what girls he can get to like him. i dunno if he's a playa or what. maybe thats not his personality i dunno... just a thought.

duckie makes a good point too. some guys can act so childish lol.

[thetease13]

i've also been the "Adam".
there was a guy, my stalker boy - perhaps you've heard my story. lol - who i was friends with and when i found out he liked me and told him i didn't like him in that way, that was the wrong thing to say. he followed me everywhere, called me, showed up at my house, etc.
so i did the best thing i knew how. avoided him as much as i possibly good. i didn't want to be alone with him because i didn't know what he would do and i wasn't comfortable with what he would do. so yes, i just avoided him as much as i could.

[oberon]

I tried to answer this last night, but technical difficulties got in the way...lol

I think the best advice is, ask him. I know you said you are shy, but the only way to know for sure what's up is to ask. There are just too many possibilities to make a guess. Just say, "I know you've heard I kinda like you, and while that's true, no matter what I'd like us to stay friends." (assuming you feel that way) Just be very matter of fact.

[WallyLlama]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (BabyRuth76 @ May 27 2004,19:28)]I'm so used to getting every single guy that I like to like me back and end up asking me out that I am so clueless now and have no idea what Adam is trying to say. *

I see another possibility entirely. Maybe, just maybe, he's saying "You can't always get what you want." (Sounds like a song, doesn't it?)

Maybe he was attracted to you because he chose you. Now it sounds like he's become one of your projects and he choses not to be that. You may not have meant what you said in your post, but you make it sound like you want control and maybe even to be a bit manipulative.

How is he supposed to know that you're not just trying to keep up your average? Jaime should not have been recruiting for you. I think it's possible that Adam is simply saying, "You were supposed to let me court (do people still use that word?) you."

I think you now have two options:

One, get Jaime to repair the damage... she can't exactly retract her statement, but she could alter it some to the point it puts Adam back in control of the relationship. (See the second option.)

Two, apologize to Adam for Jaime's behavior... this gets a little tricky, but you want him to know that while you are interested, you don't want your relationship with him to be more than he wants it to be and that Jaime should not have spoken on your behalf.

The nice thing about both those options is that they should return your relationship back to where it was... and, in the the process, you may learn more about how he feels and what he thinks.

Wally