I'M BACK FOR HELP

[tallandskinny]

Are all who know me from my prom question thanks for the help. Well I made the soph. (Ash) my girlfreind and i was fateful. I didn't talk to any other girls at all and I fall in love. Something I thought I'll never say. When broke up once for like 10 hours and got back together. That time it was because she got into an arguement with her mother over me. We got back together and she broke up with me again on monday. She wouldn't give me a reason except she didn't feel like being in a relationship right now. What should I take that as. I gave her space cause she asked for it. My thoughts are I love her and she told me she loves me should so why could she give me a real reason and should i just wait or talk to other girls.
I told you guy about this asian girl (Sar). I messed with her right before me and Ash was a couple. I broke it off with Sar the day after her birthday and went with Ash. When Sar found out that we were real a couple she called me one night and told me that she liked me more cause she couldn't have me. I told her i didn't want to hear it and i didn't want to f*** up what could have been a good thing at the time. So I told Ash about the call. Ash and Sar were never really friends but Sar is one of those people that thinks she has to be everyone friend. Ash didn't like her after she found out about the call. So Sar just found out about A not likeing her and she asked A why. And Ash told her that she knew about the phone call. So Sar tried to make me look like the bad guy and so we got into a agruement in the lunchroom about why I told my girlfriend about the phone call. Am I the bad guy?

[oberon]

Less than diplomatic, but not a bad guy...lol. I understand your wanting to be honest, but maybe you should have kept the names out of it. Hmmm... Something like, "Some girls have hit on me since we got together, but I happily told them I'm with you." Basically, you did the right thing even though this Sar may not see it that way.

As for breaking up, well, if she said it's over then take it that it's over. You are free to talk to or date whomever you wish. I don't know what she's thinking so I really can't tell you why she won't give you a reason.

[WallyLlama]

I think you betrayed a confidence, even if it was an implied confidence.

I'm never quite sure why people consider it necessary to repeat everything they are told without considering the collateral damage. When Sar told you she "wanted" you, she had a reasonable right to expect you were not going to run to Ash and tell her.

And, if you consider Ash's perspective she A.) must have wondered why you and Sar were having these sorts of conversations and B.) might be wondering if you're telling other people all the things she's told you.

Based on the history you've provided, it starts to look like you're playing these two girls against each other, ya know? Small wonder it blew up in your face.

"Even a fish wouldn't get into trouble if he kept his mouth shut."

[demonbuttercup]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (WallyLlama @ May 27 2004,02:56)]"Even a fish wouldn't get into trouble if he kept his mouth shut."

LOL Wally
now those are some wise words.
i like that quote. i could apply to a lot of people i know, especially back in High School

[Tessie]

I agree with Wally too. As I was reading your post I was thinking why in the world did you tell your girlfriend anything about the conversation.

If you did it because you felt guilty well learn to control the desire for pure honesty. Ash didn't need to have that living in her head.

As you grow up and have relationships you need to learn that you don't have to divulge everything that goes on with you or to you.

Learn to keep things to yourself and if you want to tell ask yourself what the motivation behind it is. Believe me honesty is not always the best policy. Sometimes you just need to zip it. *

[oberon]

And if this Ash had found out about this some other way?? Then he would be accused of hiding it! Secrets rarely stay secrets long- especially in high school. I completely understand him wanting this out in the open so there would be no doubt he wasn't considering cheating.

At least that would have been my motivation. If he's playing these girls against each other, then he deserves whatever happens to him. But until I see more evidence to that fact, I'm willing to give the benefit of the doubt and say he was doing a CYA.

[demonbuttercup]

thats true
maybe if he would have done it like oberon said and left the names and specifics out of it.
kind of a "just so you know" kinda deal.

[WallyLlama]

I think you'll find it was Oberon who said that, not me.

My position was - and is - "Even a fish wouldn't get into trouble if he kept his mouth shut!"

I do not usually come home at the end of the day and announce, "Wow, honey, this hot babe made a pass at me today but I'm not going to tell her name!"

Well, okay, passes don't happen very often but if one did, I'd keep my mouth totally shut.

(And, yes, that's a hint! LMAO)