whats wrong with me????

[acid]

Hi,
firslty i will tell you all a little about me....i am 21, currently at university studying pharmacy. i am a nice guy, about 6 feet tall, i take care of my self (do exercise, eat healthy etc), friendly and i am kind to all...and i have never had a girlfriend (i know its sad and thats what i want to change)!!!

all i want to know is what do i have to change about my self to be more attractive to girls? it seems like whenever i meet one they dont want to know me!!!

any females out there got any ideas....im sure you would be the best people to answer this question!!

thank you for any tips.

acid

[demonbuttercup]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (acid @ May 26 2004,09:33)]all i want to know is what do i have to change about my self to be more attractive to girls?

i wouldn't necessarily suggest you CHANGE yourself. a fake persona isn't attractive as well.
maybe its just the girls you meet. sometimes in college, girls are just flighty and not really looking for a b/f.
also, maybe they are giving you hints and flirts but you just aren't noticing. ive heard guys are pretty blind to hint LOL.

i never had a b/f when i was in HS and college. i wasn't the pretty girl i was pretty much a plain jane. i had tons of guy friends but usually i was just thought of as one of the guys.
i don't remember when things turned around or how but i did start dating some people. i think it was b/c i put myself out there more. im really shy so i guess guys just thought i wasn't interested or something.

self esteem is a very attractive trait. not so much that you are cocky or an asshole. but enough to show you are confident.

[CoLdWoLf]

One word my good man, one word.

Confidence.

[Rawbob]

Hi Acid:

First things first - YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

There are many "average" guys out there in your position. It's a funny thing about attracting a "mate" - YOU NEED TO ATTRACT THEM - GET THEIR ATTENTION.

Now this dosn't mean you have to be the guy with the lampshade on your head at parties, or be the captain of the football team to separate yourselves from the competition...but it also means you can't be a "wallflower" and just expect a woman (or man) to have ESP and figure out how GOOD a catch you are.

As the other replies state, you DO need to have a least a "decent" self image and level of "self confidence." It would also help to get involved in some clubs or other extra-curricular activities at college. You have to circlulate and interact...and a good way to do that is to get involved in things you already like to do (hike, bike, art, sing, whatever your hobbies or talents may be).

The second is to take a long look at yourself in the mirror. What image are you sending to those around you. You say you're in good shape, excercise and eat right...are you wearing fitted clothes? Clothign that accentuates your build? How do you keep your hair? Long, short, messy? how about your shaving habits? Do you have a beard, moustache, goatee? Do you keep your facial hair trimmed? If u have no faical hair, do you shave every day or so?

The image you project often has an impact on how others INITIALLY perceive you. Not sure what your "projecting?" ask a female friend to go thru your closet and comment on your clothes...you'll be surprised at what you hear!

If you look at most of the "makeover" shows on TV.....the vast majority of changes are not plastic surgery, but clothes, hair, shoes, and style!

Hell...if u have a gay buddy....trust me..he'll tell you exactly what is right and wrong with your couture (clothing style).

One other note: BADBOY IMAGE. I'm sure you're always scratching your head when you see a beautiful gal with a guy who's a known trouble-maker. There's just something about the "rebel" that seems to attract alot of women. Most times i think it's because they get a rush from the "risk" they take with that kind of man or maybe because they think they can "change" him...either way......those "badboys" don't have anything on anyone..other than a total disreguard for the "norms" of society. Everyone of us has a little "badboy/girl" in us......so, if you combine that "rebel" spirit, with some involvement in activities and groups...and a full review of your 'outward apearance'...you may have the recipe to help attract another person's attention!

Have fun! Don't make it a life-or-death thing..its a matter of looking at yourself as a product.......it's a combination of good marketing (involvement)...good packaging (how you look) and if you deliver on hwat you advertise (be honest with yourself and others)......it CAN work!

[lilly2279]

I think Rawbob gave a lot of excellent advice!

The things I look for in a guy... Sense of humor, a nice smile, an easy laugh.

Do you feel you talk easily to the opposite sex? You said that girls aren't interested in getting to know you better. How do you know that? Have you asked them out and they turned you down or are you just assuming they are not interested? Do you portray a positive attitude when you're out with friends and possible dates? Do you make eye contact with the girl you possibly have your eye on? Eye contact (as long as it's no so long, that's it's creepy, lol) can be a definite turn on and let them know that you are interested in them and what they have to say.

I also, did not date all through high school. I was not allowed to date till I was 16 and by then I guess everyone lost interest! ha ha. Anyway, i probably went out on my first real date when I was 18 (and it turned out it was with a gay guy). The next guy I dated, I married, then divorced 7 years later. Weird!! Nothing like seeing what's out there, eh? hehe.

Are you overly picky about the girls? Not to be rude, but are you shooting too high? Like looking only at the most beautiful girl you see at the bar instead of her adorable roommate with the dimple and cute laugh? The more hooks you put out there, the more likely you are to get a bite!

Good Luck! lol, trust me I have trouble getting the guys I was to notice me. lol. but at least I can help in the guy area!

[acid]

hi all!!!
thanks for all the advise....i realy needed it and it has given me a lot to think about!!!

thanks again

acid

[LittleFury]

Just be yourself and wait for the right girl to come along. Unless there is a quality in your character you, yourself, don't like, then don't change, as long as you're happy with who you are. Stay true to yourself cause if you won't, no matter if you have a gf or not, you will become rather unhappy most likely. And a really worthy girl will like you for who you really are.